Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
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Top comments
slushpup9696 12
So... you're looking for a mate?
apv0222 0
Little kids and their honesty...
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Comments (244)
feralpup 7
Bloody children, If i ever said something like that to another person I'd get a good ol' smack on the behind. Children may say the darndest things, doesn't make them cute or it doesn't call for not disciplining them. A simple smack on the hand or backside isn't abuse when it teaches them that doing something bad has it's recoils.
danbman95 0
Great song!
declanandrewbell 1
that kid is going places.
TheBeanieChic 1
I would drop kick the little bastard and be like "Can a hippopotamus do that, bitch!"
shaniqualee 2
I would've followed the family and as soon as the mom wasn't looking, I would've chloroformed the kid and walked out with him. He would wake up in daze, alone and tied in my basement. Bwahahaha.
Smashley91 2
what a little shit
TrippingOnAcid 29
YDI for being fat
MattChristensen 14
That's kind of funny, no offense