By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 362
You deserved it 10 460

Same thing different taste

Top comments

slushpup9696 12

So... you're looking for a mate?


slushpup9696 12

So... you're looking for a mate?

They allow hippos in malls now? I feel terrible for never bringing mine for a stroll through.

should have showed her, and went hungry hippo on her ass. threw marbles at her then eat her.

She would like to mate.... I mean meet you!

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Omg it's the game of hungry hungry hippos!! D: everyone run for ur life's then the store is deserted

Life's? LOL. I do believe you mean "lives".

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

150- I'm just gonna walk away, I don't want to be here when all the hurtful comments start flowing in. Good luck and Godspeed.

Now that Marinus is gone, I can spew hate. >:@ No, you dumb ****, you cannot use it either way. At the ripe old age of 16 with a good decade of English classes under your belt (hopefully anyway) you would know that the plural form of the word life is only lives. Don't worry though. Im sure you're a good, morally sound person. Just improve a bit on the English side of life. 0.o

xMiss_Maggot 7

your lil essay is too long so stfu!

You're right.. I'm not even anglophone and I know that. People simply don't know how to write nowadays.

Be quiet Maggot! Lol sorry, I couldn't resist.

koolkat27 13

188- gee, i wonder what gave you that impression?

150 - I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Yeaa I was kinda out of it yesterday ._. Sorry bout that

191 is destroying the English language. Or American, whichever you prefer.

DontModMeDammit 10

191- 5 sentences is too long? Seriously?

189- lol at "now that marinus is gone" that's because he's the most buff commenter and could Godsmack all of us

myoukei 31

to the point of rudeness (or past it sometimes)

fatcowmalk 0

It's your fault for being fat....

heylesha 8

with the name fatcow do you have room to talk?

M0rt 0

I like how 46 is right but he stil gets thrum bed down

M0rt 0

Thumbed down; got damn spell checker

midnightxloner 1

43- I'm not usually any kind of grammar nazi, but isn't it darndest.

koolkat27 13

46- its the parents fault. apparently, they've never taught their child respect.

bbomb196 3

Your spelling physically hurt me...

sailorzoe 14

#60- Do YOU have room to talk? Haha

Did someone call me? 124, was it you?

Kids tend to call them like they see them.... FYL OP!!!

Also why you never tell little kids secrets, surprises, or anything that's not open knowledge. They WILL blurt it out, generally at the most inopportune time! :P

bizarre_ftw 21

118 - I was actually a strategic child, don't underestimate them....

go slap that bitch and the big bitch taking care of the little one. that mom should be parenting better.

followed by "preteen panthers" a show about the wild world of schools in the wilderness

In this case I don't think slapping is enough. I really think a double murder could rectify the situation. I just call 'em like I see them.

sam4444 0

well maybe OP should be eating better.

missamazinggg 12

Or maybe the kid in question is allowed to voice an opinion?

koolkat27 13

181- thats true, but you kids really shouldnt be making rude remarks about someones appearance. thats just crossing the line.

Tats soo true I would go back and say "ehh y u all up in my Kool-aid??!! Then b**** slap him.

TheDrifter 23

Next on discovery: When Hippos attack, carnage in the malls.

If my kid ever said something like that he'd get a good spanking right in the middle of the mall.

crystalou_fml 3

Aaaaaaand cue the unending debate of spanking vs not spanking.. Ready go.

kickazz16 15

Spanking! Wait no spanking! Yes spank! No its immoral!! But,.oh **** just give me a cookie :)

MerrikBarbarian 9

Not much of a debate since many places now ban spanking and if you spank a child in public you can be charged with abuse.

gabrielbaby 9

It depends. Haven't you ever said something like that. The child doesn't understand that's a bad thing, I did it as a child before. But as you get older you start to understand. As a child they should be scolded if they don't understand it, but as they get older they should get a spanking.

Well I view three firm smacks with a flat hand a spanking. I'm not talking about wailing on the kid.

Damn. If I said somethin like that, my grandma would beat the hell out of me. It would be DAYS before I got my ass off the floor. Also, it doesn't matter if it's a little kid. He should know not to insult people. My cousins two years old and knows not to say mean things like that.

I remember one time I was being a brat bitch in a mall and my mom screamed that she would leave me there to get kidnapped. I shout my ass up real quick. THAT'S REAL LIFE.

I think that no spanking is ridiculous, I was spanked as a child, most of our parents, grandparents and great grandparents were as well, why is it different now from say 50 years ago, when they got a strap not a hand. Don't get me wrong spanking with anything other than your hand is a weapon, a hand just gets the point across

bizarre_ftw 21

Two things 1) spanking a child is hitting a child, it is demeaning and wrong, you should not teach a child to not do something by embarrassing them it is emotionally scarring to some extent. Punish your children, don't abuse them. 2) how has no one made a spanking --> sexual reference joke yet?

Exactly. It's abuse if you're using some heavy belt that makin' the child bleed, or if the spankings for an illegitimate reason. Getting beat by a hand when you're being BAD isn't abuse. -.- kids are so ****** up these days. We all need a spanking every now and then. My parents beat me all the time (hehe... I'm bad.) but I still love them. Its not like it's torture. It's punishment.

bizarre_ftw 21

well see, my mother (on the rare occasion [not that i wasn't bad, i was just sneaky and manipulative about it]) did spank me. and see, now i dont remember what i did wrong, three days from then i couldn't remember what i did wrong. i do, however, remember the hate and need for revenge even now, and likely one or more of the times i tossed her cigarettes in the trash was fueled by said hate. even now me and my mother are not on great terms 1/3 of the time. long story short spanking = bad

Maybe if she spanked you more often you wouldn't have been such a bratty kid.

My parents spanked me but I feel no ill will towards them for it. Never have. Spanking = ymmv.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

It's ok OP. Sometimes people within a normal weight range can look huge to little kids. It has happened to me, even though I am nowhere near overweight. Don't take it to heart. Also, if the case is that you do have a couple of pounds to lose, turn the comment into something positive, and use it for motivation to shed them.

perdix 29

It's funny that the major river with hippopotami living in it is De Nial.

possibly one of the best puns ive ever heard.. and ive heard some bad (good) ones

bizarre_ftw 21

I've got a pun soaked teacher and that is near the best for me as well! Though: where do you find a narcissist? At the pool hall

perdix 29

Uh-oh. Someone has figured out your secret! You had your fat hidden so well under those floral muumuus, but then some shit kid outs you to the rest of the world. You almost got away with it -- I'll bet no one else even thought you were chubby.