Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
oh_mi_shizzle 0
LMAO! hahahahaha that must've been super embarrassing! hahahahaha parents can just mess things up sometimes though, so FYL... this is a great FML I favorited it.... xD ur a cool kid... I like u! :D ps. hope ppl don't make too much fun of u at school...
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha well in that case, I like you too. ;D And yes everyone, I'm not one of those OPs who posts the FML and then dies or something, LOL. Ask away. xD
jonny2x4 0
This is soooo funny on soooo many levels. Dad knows best, you know.
RJB 0
Awkward much.
GoldenWonton 0
LMFAO DAD = WIN
PieGuy 0
ya....at that point thats when you dive out of the window and hope to god the fall puts you in a nice, embarrassment free coma :D
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha so far, everyone, I've been getting texts like crazy telling me I have a cool family. You were right!! xD And btw it's my parents' anniversary today no joke, haha I showed them this FML and said "Happy Anniversary! You get Internet fame!!" :D (my brother is mad about the dick comments, lol. >:D)
9az00 0
Bawahahahahahahaha!!!! ******* awesome!
gottalovepixar 0
YDI for posting this twice
gbhlaughingstock 0
...? I posted it once.. maybe there's a bug on the site? D:
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha yeah, my entire family is reading this comment thread. Person who popped a boner, you made the whole van laugh. If I were there, I'd give you a cookie. >;D
giganticbrain 0
Good story. *yawn*