Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
conan6 0
Win.
triplethreat13 0
your father is fantastic. truly, FYL, but this is such a funny story! when all else fails, just start laughing in a situation like that!!
fmyhealth 0
That was absolutely HILARIOUS! And my step-dad's introduction to the fmylife website... I hope it doesn't give him any ideas for family outings! LOL, I hope you're a senior!!!
Howdyplz 2
Lol, this kind of FML is the reason so many people go on this site. Thart mustv'e been awkward. And whats better is that OP stuck around instead of vanishing. Great job, OP.
rustyrox 0
I think this one made my day!!! Bravo! Hahaha
zesunflower 0
that'd be embarassing... i wonder if your dad knew and did it on purpose that would be AWESOME
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha he realized right afterwards xDDD (we started screaming THATS WHAT HE SAID at his face in between laughing our heads off, LOL xD)
fmh123 0
Now thats funny
ozzie_lady 1
This has got to be the funniest fml in a loooong time. Gem's like this one is why I keep coming back to this site.
talim_fml 3
hahahha your dads hilarious
person1000003 0
FYL