Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
aznboytellem 0
What parents you have.
yellowpostit23 0
whoa my mom's name is Kathy and she all drinks Diet Coke.
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha, I actually misspelled my mom's name for anonymity reasons, but yeah she loves Diet Coke lol. It's why I remember feeling very grateful when she told me that she gave up soda, deep fried food, AND headache painkillers when she was pregnant with me (and again with my brother). She wanted us to be the healthiest babies possible. x) ...and then comes that crazy kid in the South Park movie, whose mom stabbed him with a clotheshangar while he was still a fetus. Yes, haha I feel very loved. xD
portable_chicken 0
HAHAHA. South park is rad! and so are you if you have those awesome parents. Your lucky. My mum and dad never have fun like this =P Oh well! good FML, made me lol (and sneeze, I really don't know why.)
dRose22 0
Finally, an FML that actually made me laugh out loud.
beethoven_fml 0
wow that sucks
SS_Anon 0
win... all i can say
Shyman4ever 0
EPIC WIN!!!! Listen to your dad and do it.
xKyashiix 0
My name is Kathy. LOL
athos1237 4
Not gonna give you the FML but this was awesome! HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! Grow a sense of humor and laugh with the rest of us. Your bro is a hero, your mom and dad seem to know how to make an embarrassing situation funny. It's ok to laugh.
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha I know, lol I've laughed like two dozen times already at it. xD Now I just hope my FML makes it into one of the top categories. :D
wrestling49 0
i wonder wat else she is going to b sucking on today, and then swallowing??!?!?OOOO
gbhlaughingstock 0
It is their anniversary... ew. *shudders* D:
ozzie_lady 1
ROTFL!! Aw man, I snorted pulpy OJ out the nose on that one...it burns. Love the OP for hanging out and commenting.
gbhlaughingstock 0
xD Haha yeah I remember hating it when OPs would ignore obvious questions, like how the gay adopted brother one didn't comment back about anything the hilarious and creepy comments said, lol
ivoryXkiss 5
Win