Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
me_me_me_me 0
lol. thats when you slowly walk away and pretend you dont know them.
xINSAyNEx 0
haha yeahhhh! just turn the other direction and sarcastically say "psshhh! im glad these crazy people arent MY parents!" and quickly walk away.
GmDude66 1
lmao, yea, FYL
bdaniels362 3
HAHAHAHA, this is one of the funniest FML I've ever seen!
prettykitty123 0
Haha oh noo!
ctrygirl 2
Hahaha sounds like you have a cool family
thelonelylurker 0
That's hot, I popped a boner.
plexico 3
Especially if, in the confusion, Kathy panicked and put her mouth on the usual "it" and started sucking "it" right there in the cafeteria. You'd be the most popular guy in school, at least with the other guys. They'd want to have any excuse to hang out at your house.
keitorin 0
LOLL xDDD
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha you seem familiar...? O_o xD
CFR 0
I can totally imagine the look on your face... rofl.
itsover_9000 0
That was friggin hilarious!!! You made my day
blinddate 0
I moderated this. This was so funny!
shostakovich 0
No one actually gives a damn whether you moderated a quote or not. I suggest you take that into consideration the next time you begin typing into the comment text field. =)
beethoven_fml 0
dude who cares
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha oh shut up. I smile whenever I see one of the moderator comments here, because it means that the person helped make it possible for my FML to be posted. ;D