Kids: Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag,... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 478

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 4 912

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 292

You deserved it 7 313

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 822

You deserved it 11 172

By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 462

You deserved it 2 005

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 240

By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 206

You deserved it 5 502

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 081

You deserved it 2 675

Little shit

By NoPocketforme - 04/04/2021 00:30

Today, I ate the last Hot Pocket in the house. My little brother threw a temper tantrum and poured a bucket of water all over my desk and Macbook. My mom’s response? “Aw he’s just a little boy.” My brother is 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 121

Next

Top comments

Mudhound123 6

Friday 27 January 2017 3:14

Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 3:52

You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.

Comments

amberthebear 7

Friday 27 January 2017 2:03

nothing like a little backwash.. thats disgusting. lol

CrazyFastRapper 7

Friday 27 January 2017 2:27

How little are we talking?

kristinjeaneen 21

Friday 27 January 2017 3:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Mudhound123 6

Friday 27 January 2017 3:14

Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.

Suckmybigrooster 1

Friday 27 January 2017 3:24

Better then him putting his dick into it

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 27 January 2017 3:38

The oddness of that statement almost makes me wonder if you've had such an experience. Witnessing it, I mean. I would certainly hope it wasn't you who did it.

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 4:52

their username just makes me think they have thing for dicks. More in a "Superbad" (movie) type of way than sexual most likely. I don't find the comment so random coming from such a username.

jcash52426 5

Friday 27 January 2017 3:43

Well that milk is either expired or a different kind of milk that he is used to drinking. If it wasn't expired I would make him drink the milk or do chores around the house to pay for a replacement and he can have the one he drank out of.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 27 January 2017 3:52

You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 27 January 2017 4:22

Reminds me of the milk scene in little man...a bit

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 27 January 2017 5:00

I hope you took that milk carton (a) dumped it all over your little brother so he gets to smell like baby puke once it sours or (b) be more mature and just take the carton and toss it out so there are no ... victims.. of forced entry of foreign spit germs and/or bacteria otherwise know as a form of second degree grossness. learned this in jaw school.

alvarny 17

Friday 27 January 2017 7:38

he's turning it into cheese for you.

flakawaka 0

Friday 27 January 2017 7:42

Did you slap the **** out of him or...

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 119

The Top

Today, I have a family but I just feel all alone and unloved, almost on the verge of depression. I just wanna cry. My wife is always threatening me with divorce and says she can’t stand the sight of me, and my son hates me. I just wanna feel like somebody is there for me and that I can lean on someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 155

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 142

You deserved it 10 356

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 034

You deserved it 6 284

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 496

You deserved it 4 810

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 054

You deserved it 4 057

Today, my hammerhead of a dog decided to "help" me clean by grabbing the vacuum cord and dragging it across the house, knocking over everything in its path. The house is somehow messier than before I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 97