Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (228)
alliemay 0
Get your mind out of the gutter! Okay, the thought might (or might not) have crossed my mind, and probably a lot of other people's too, but it's seriously NO BIG DEAL. Especially at a school/family event with kids all around.
hannah_elizabeth_fml 7
i loved this FML. i laughed so hard! i cant even imagine what i would say if i was there lol.
hahasuckstobeyou 0
Ive always wanted to use this... ROFL MY WAFFLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
notcoolperson 0
aaah, you sneaky you..
streetmember 0
can't see the FML. This is ****** AWESOME!!!
RJB 0
haha yeah Thats a true troll speaking
Egotistical 0
First fml that made me laugh in a while! What did ur friends say?
gbhlaughingstock 0
Haha they could barely breathe for laughing, then they just kept repeating it over and over and laughing more... xD
marleesharpie 0
This amuses me greatly. Thanks for the laugh, OP.
actorkidrox 0
What is it they say? Father knows best?
_Akward_ 0
Unlucky you. I was at a friends house having dinner, while her mom was spreading frosting on a cake. A big glob of it fell on the table, and her dad screams in mock horror, "Suck it! suck it like you used to do in college! Aww man, what did i tell you, it's every where!"
xINSAyNEx 0
HAHAHA thats hilarious too x]