Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of Santa is to a coworker, and how every parent should tell their kids the truthLies. The intercom microphone was on. I single-handedly told a group of 100 six year-olds that Santa isn't real. FML
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
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Top comments
teaset 0
Soo why are you going to tell your brother that Santa isn't real? Aren't people supposed to figure that out on their own?
iFerret 0
YOU MEAN HE'S NOT REAL?!?!?!? :'((
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Comments (163)
sarcdude 3
Well they had to learn sometime. I knew early on Santa Clause wasn't real.
JessiGoose 0
Well, I don't think you should have to "tell" kids. My mom didn't ever tell me santa wasn't real, in fact she'll still write "from santa" on some gifts. I just realized as I grew older that he wasn't and it wasn't a big deal that way, I kinda just shrugged it off.
sarcdude 3
To elaborate, I always knew he wasn't real, but when I was 10 I decided to put it to the test. I wrote a letter to Santa and gave it to my mother to deliver it. I determined that if I had all the presents on the list, then Santa was real. If I didn't have all the presents on the list and not one single lump of coal, Santa didn't exist. I got one of the presents on the list, and no coal, so voila, no Santa :D
kris4126 0
...you mean "Santa Claus"? AAAAAAAAAAAAAND YDI.
caits13 0
**** you bitch. Santa clause is one of the best parts of childhood - my younger sister still believes and it's amazing to see how happy she is on chirstmas mornings. You deserved it and be more ****** careful next time... you just ruined a few of the happiest moments of children's lives.
FerrariCake 2
You sound very angry about the whole Santa issue... got too much coal in your stocking when you were a kid? "Santa's real, you ******* bitch, and when I find him I'm gonna settle the score with that bastard!"
NotEven 0
Today, my family and I went out for a nice dinner. It was ruined by some loudmouth in the booth behind us talking about how Santa isn't real. My kids heard and started crying. FML
Cristaderzi 0
Thank you did it! Ive always walked outside if I needed to use my mobile! Its just ya know your trying to relax and and destress and detox negative energy via good music and some java When some moron comes in talking as if they were auditioning for a wrestling match! Though hey wrestlers are cool! LOL
FerrariCake 2
What? Do you have a prescription for what you just took?
Cristaderzi 0
Oh And Santa is giving you coal this year!
rxxk 0
For ***** sake. This is why you don't tell kids Santa Claus exists in the first place.
waterynuggets 0
Exactly.
droln4maltesers 8
Don't know what the big deal is. I found out on my own there is no such thing as Santa Claus when I caught my mom stuffing my stocking late at night. Did I care? no! Did I cry? no! why? because whether he existed or not I would still be getting Christmas presents! FYI: There are worse things that kids can pick up nowadays in public than hearing that Santa isn't real!