Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I found out that I spent 3 whole days cleaning my apartment thoroughly and paid $100 to get my carpet professional cleaned to not get my $950 deposit back because the carpet smells like dog. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML
Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Pet interview? I'll bet the poor dog was nervous trying to answer the probing questions concerning all of the lies and exaggerations you put on his résumé (or C. V., if you will.) You fudged his credentials, so he fudged the office.
Xythenol 6
"REQUIRED PET INTERVIEW". Your spelling is atrocious, no wonder your reading skills suck too.
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Comments (62)
ghad25 3
you lost the game
macskapingvin 0
Imagine going to a job interview, and vomiting all over the panel. You think they'd be understanding?
Dall87 0
your puppy didn't want to live there, so he did it on purpose.
killabee 0
Pet interview; Why is this so hard for people to understand? You take your pet in so the landlord can assess it's behavior in person. If it's overly agressive, barks constantly, or ***** on the carpet they don't take you on as a tenant. Anybody can say their pet is perfect but they want to check in person.
tenniscrazy2 6
If you're not gonna be allowed to live there anyway, why clean it up? Lol
sintralin 0
I don't understand what the quotation marks are for. It makes it sound like the dog wasn't really sick and it was just an excuse for what happened...it's not like "got sick" is some kind of obscure phrase that has to be specially identified
wwwertdf 1
Why wouldn't you just walk out. your the dumb ass for cleaning it up.
Koto 1
Borrow a friend's dog, and then go back and tell them you got a new one that's trained. If/when they ever see you with your dog, chances are they won't remember or care which one you had.
LouderThanEver 0
Oh shit!
happyllama12 5
Why the 'got sick'? Think he did it on purpose?