Animals: Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog...

By Puppy problems - 27/10/2013 01:23 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 554

You deserved it 4 529

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Same thing different taste

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 170

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 933

You deserved it 5 119

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 800

You deserved it 4 364

Self-defeating move

By Steve - 12/05/2021 11:01

Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 104

By missmisfit - 13/06/2012 04:14 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 3 326

Sociopathic method

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 18:01

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 516

You deserved it 4 297

By pamcakes - 09/07/2016 17:14

Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 441

You deserved it 1 279

By yikesss - 23/10/2018 03:00

Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 446

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 498

You deserved it 15 110

annie_nk 22

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:08

"I said sit, not shit!"

caden_bro 9

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:49

Your BF seems a little emotional. And ridiculous. Just try to talk some sense into him.

Comments

caden_bro 9

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:49

Your BF seems a little emotional. And ridiculous. Just try to talk some sense into him.

Ambient25 24

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:48

or slap him and tell him to grow up

patrickalamo 47

Sunday 27 October 2013 12:58

She would do better talking sense into a brick wall... You cannot fix stupid.

Elliotkitty 13

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:50

D: I don't think spraying frabreeze will help will it?

rebellionwars 11

Sunday 27 October 2013 14:46

Febreeze is one of the problems in your sentence.

naughtia 14

Monday 28 October 2013 1:55

Febreze is a problem in both sentences!

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:52

Time for troll dog to shine! For far too long we've focused on troll Grandparents and cats...no more! Let us realize the threat that is now among us!

fluffywaspluka 7

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:54

Number 1 dog trainer, good job OP.

Sandsh8rk 36

Sunday 27 October 2013 14:00

More like the 'Number 2' dog trainer.

jococo7787 3

Sunday 27 October 2013 16:23

Hopefully he won't DUMP her for all the SHIT he's gone through.

mFUNdo21 17

Sunday 27 October 2013 9:54

well that's a shi- *slaps self* NO! we will not utilise overused puns that everyone downvotes That is an unfortunate situation in the excretery sense

184886837272837 32

Sunday 27 October 2013 13:04

If you say the word downvote in a comment, you're probably going to get down voted

ashleyylove3 22

Sunday 27 October 2013 13:08

#22 wins

184886837272837 32

Sunday 27 October 2013 13:10

I just realized I may have just jinxed myself...

thrifting 18

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:00

Have your boyfriend take a dump on the puppy to get even. Battleshits!

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 28 October 2013 19:55

You sunk my battleshit...

crazytrainer 5

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:07

Trust in the judgement of your pup. Your bf sounds like an idiot. Maybe you should dump him. (but not on him)

annie_nk 22

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:08

"I said sit, not shit!"

Ambient25 24

Sunday 27 October 2013 14:40

Can you imagine how confused Sean Connery's grand kids are when he asks them to "shit" on his lap...

xkore787 14

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:10

Well of course he's mad! Isnt it obvious that everyone trains their dog to do that!

dawood_k 27

Sunday 27 October 2013 10:14

Well well well. I suggest you dump your boyfriend sounds like he is "full of shit" What an idiot

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 243

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 351

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 686

You deserved it 7 303

Today, my two cats decided to have a brawl on top of me. I was just trying to get to sleep. Now I'm covered in scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 241

You deserved it 6 669

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165

You deserved it 4 129

Today, my sixteen-year-old daughter put her soda in the microwave to “cool it down by making the ice cubes melt faster”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 102

Today, I found out I didn’t get a job because I'd flashed the owner whilst drunk. Guess my tits weren’t better than my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 2 152