Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML
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Top comments
TXFernwoods 26
Fill another bowl! Screw the universe :P
Welshite 39
I've always wanted to birth a star.
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Comments (76)
pwnman 33
Anybody accidentally read it as surgery cereal?
gaydragon 13
I had to re read it a few times before I understood it didn't say surgery at first. ... Damn lack of sleep
chutney_02 22
Don't change your diet, just cut down your portion sizes
katties 27
If OP eats unhealthy, it IS a good thing if she changes her diet - fiber, fruit, vegies, protein and water instead of fizzy drinks will be good for most people
Jakob2255 12
after surgery op may be required to change the diet. cutting down does not count
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Most diets fail horribly. Not to plug a commercial product, but I've been on the Zone diet and have lost 110+ pounds without feeling hungry. You should check it out, since it shows how most diets not only don't work, but condition you to get even fatter when you stop.
Guardian88 21
YOU START NOW lol
sunnyray812 42
Guess it's the universe's rule that you can't enjoy yourself one last time. :/ I'm sorry, OP.
katties 27
Why are so many people negative to diets? I have tried only ONE diet in my whole life, but it worked pretty darn well in only one week. No return to my previous weight either.
TallMist 32
People are only thumbing you down because they are jealous you actually succeeded your diet.
howdoilogin 9
Walking down the stairs carrying a bowl filled with liquid? YDI.
Godsofdracos 15
Please let me use your instantaneous particle matter transporter next time I want to eat cereal in my room, god forbid I carry the bowl up or down the stairs -.-
metreman 19
watch that last step it a doozy
kwazywabbit 9
I heard that sugary cereal has less calories than the "healthy cereals" if it's that kind of diet your doing.
worldclassrager 39
Make another just watch the stairs or down go down them...