Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for... - FML

By Fillifilo - France

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25687

You deserved it

3774

Tweet

Share

Long story short

So you had a bad day…

Not a good look

By giantsfan2010 - United States

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18468

You deserved it

28530

Tweet

Share

By Needsanewjob - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15452

You deserved it

55232

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43258

You deserved it

26189

Tweet

Share

By Heidi Jeanette

Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2768

You deserved it

4694

Tweet

Share

By Sam - Canada

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43405

You deserved it

2636

Tweet

Share

By NowHomeless - United States

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28674

You deserved it

3273

Tweet

Share

By Wtf - United States - Peoria

Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML

I agree, your life sucks

5871

You deserved it

788

Tweet

Share

By nothanks - United States

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35560

You deserved it

5805

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom

Dodged a bullet

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1530

You deserved it

109

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

14925

You deserved it

930

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31427

You deserved it

2533

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44547

You deserved it

3299

Tweet

Share

By shtzbutnogiggles - United States

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11018

You deserved it

938

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Irmo

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46208

You deserved it

17281

Tweet

Share

By svsksosnns - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with co-workers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12818

You deserved it

1010

Tweet

Share

By lamelifeguard - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47606

You deserved it

4379

Tweet

Share

By blck - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25565

You deserved it

3896

Tweet

Share

By jazz - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32173

You deserved it

5728

Tweet

Share

By Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49346

You deserved it

3545

Tweet

Share

By SeeTony - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31770

You deserved it

5490

Tweet

Share

By she has dumbcuntitis - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30070

You deserved it

1992

Tweet

Share

By fatty

Work it

Today, after a full year of vigorous exercise 7 days a week, and a strict diet of vegetables, fruits, and water, I can proudly say that I've lost half a pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1604

You deserved it

324

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30095

You deserved it

3870

Tweet

Share

By KayIsKiwi99 - United States - Houston

Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7348

You deserved it

16065

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68488

You deserved it

10870

Tweet

Share

By rugs - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45513

You deserved it

5784

Tweet

Share

By Got_any_grapes1 - United States

Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40318

You deserved it

20180

Tweet

Share

By poorcollegestudent - Canada

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31115

You deserved it

9613

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58165

You deserved it

7226

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/7/2020 14:02

Boredom

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1417

You deserved it

168

Tweet

Share

By tireedddddd - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27024

You deserved it

2472

Tweet

Share

By jfc, how just how - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46135

You deserved it

3750

Tweet

Share

By Robert - United States - North Pole

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4815

You deserved it

611

Tweet

Share

By funnyguyNOT - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24248

You deserved it

284482

Tweet

Share

By Melissa - 8/3/2020 14:00

Badmouth Strikes Again

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1275

You deserved it

134

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10494

You deserved it

86056

Tweet

Share

By okaythen - United States - Arcata

Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22210

You deserved it

1524

Tweet

Share

By stephiew - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27591

You deserved it

2513

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36991

You deserved it

3332

Tweet

Share

By mrsimintrouble - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16656

You deserved it

2335

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

No comments yet.

COMMENTS

No comments yet.