Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TXFernwoods 26
Fill another bowl! Screw the universe :P
Welshite 39
I've always wanted to birth a star.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
beautifulsoul89 11
#9, what if you end up choking on the cereal tho?
Kirikoe 8
Its for your own good.. the universe knows best
dkt_lee 4
I have the opposite problem... I went through a year of personal and economic stress and lost nearly 20 lbs. On top of this I was already too thin with too fast a metabolism. Now that things are a lot better I've been working out with my husband and eating more. Looking plumper every gym visit. :) With that being said, being thin isn't always the best. As long as you're happy and healthy you're beautiful. <3
mrcook9 5
Diets don't work. Unless you're going to stay on that diet the rest of your life, you're just going to gain all that weight back again.
ruffles94 16
The universe isn't telling you anything, you're just clumsy!