Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
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Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML
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Top comments
socialproduct 19
Pee in her bed and say the bathroom is "reserved for pooping only"
Sia_Will 13
Put needles or something like that under your sheets every time you leave.
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Comments (28)
jvanevery 19
this is my bed it's reserved for me only that's the rule
petalbird 10
swap beds? you can have to sleeping one they has the sex one (unless you have a partner in which case just do the same to them)
Saone_fml 27
"And mine is reserved for ME only!" ..No?
xx000o 27
******* bitch, just saying.
SteveDudleyUK 10
Urinate on her bed because you feel toilet should be for solids only.
Yudith_fml 11
Forget the needles and pee, just eat cookies and chips in her bed if you don't have a sex partner available, then eat cookies and chips in yours when she comes back. If you're on a diet, replace cookies and chips with crackers and salsa.
OhPuhleeze 23
1- kick her ass out of your bed. 2- do something adult, like talk to her and tell her of her boundaries. Your bed is out of bounds for her. 3- if it fails, tell her you don't want her on your bed cuz you don't want her to get your STD (trust me she will not take a chance) 4- if all fails, you can be juvenile too. hair remover in the shampoo kind.. Beware though, it's a game two can play. 5- remember the fighting with the pig saying..
cuz803 46
I know I'm gonna get down voted for saying this but...shit & piss in her bed and put your garbage on it
epiccrazy 15
Time for a dose of her own medicine!!! I'd start doing every gross thing possible in her bed!
jessicasoho 13
I would be looking for a new roommate, perhaps someone who could help move the body. "Sure those would look like my sheets soaked in blood, but my new roommate wouldn't mind, because we'd have an understanding of common courtesy and basic knowledge of 'what not to do.' No one has sex on my bed. Anywho do, prepare for your every brother, sister, mother and father to feel the end of days if you ever have sex on my bed. I will make your family and your bedded lover's family real comfortable next to your decaying, rotting corpse. I would not only end you, but everything and everyone you've ever loved. Have sex on my bed? Oh, you are mistaken. That is no mear bed, that is the endless pit of death for you. That is the hand of God waiting to strike you down!" - is what I'd think. But do what you want in your own, sane, way.