Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
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Top comments
Holybatman 16
Did you shake Jeffrey Junior's hand?
NOWAYJOSE 14
Well, make friends with both of them!
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Comments (202)
RainbowHeadache 2
Sounds like the beginnings of a comedy porno.
xrainbowshadowx 17
"I'd let Jeffrey Jr. with my Bobby Jr. but I'm afraid my Jeffrey Jr. is bigger. We wouldn't Bobby Jr. to squish Jeffrey Jr., right?"
Rabidkid 14
I'm more shocked a guy actually said "hi". Who the hell says that now a days?
Pyrogod18 0
Oh number of dick jokes i could tell...
tylenol123 0
Theres a reason he ended the the story there ;)
momorose94 8
Yeah a "LONG" semester....:)
skyeyez9 25
Jeffrey was probably being a dick to creep you out, so you'd leave and he'd get a room all to himself.
perdix 31
You ought to play Jeffrey off against Jeffrey Jr. and cause friction between the two of them.
hotPinklipstick 24
seems like there is already friction between them considering Jeffery was holding Jeffery Jr when they were introduced...
immortal628 20
Obviously he did this on purpose just to **** with your head, but I really have to wonder how long he waited with it in his hand just to make that joke.
RaeRaeHeartBreak 3
And I just tell em' hey! It's me and my dick