Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
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Top comments
Sneekert 4
Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.
Angel1000168 16
Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.
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Comments (86)
Angel1000168 16
Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.
alyspar2 5
Today, we got new seats in class today. Huh?
danivolley64 10
I do that a lot, easy mistake... Don't attack me!
oj101 33
OP, remember to never lend him your pen, or borrow his!
SMD_emilyy 1
At least you don't have to worry about falling asleep in that class..
chickenflem 8
Tell him "not as hot as the pussy" maybe he will move. XD
iOceanus 18
51 - Or think that's hot :P Seriously, no pun intended. Anyway, you never know with creeps!
license2chill 5
51, what if the guy starts rubbing them, or worse, the shaft, just to get them warmer, because of what you have said, lol
Sneekert 4
Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.
Drigr 9
Yep, thats why the scrotum can expand and contract. A guys balls work off their own thermometer. Too cold and they get closer to his body to try and warm up off of his core, too hot and they sag away to try and lower their temperature. I always thought the armpits were one of the "warmest" places in the body, since putting your hands there keeps them close to your core, as well as allowing you to surround them.
onlychildFTW 34
The balls are the warmest place when in tighty whities. They can't lower to get away from the heat. And it will create a lower sperm count. But stop wearing tighty whities and sperm count goes back to normal in a few days. Or so I've heard.
Inheritance 10
Or you can not tell him, then he can't reproduce any weirdos like him?
DarwinWillFixIt 11
It's probably a good idea that he does raise his temperature and kills off his sperm. Should he really have an opportunity to reproduce?
cajekraze 7
The guy is not a creep. He's just warming his hands and wanted to explain so you didn't think he was playing with himself. Many guys do this, but usually not so blatantly.
Quiet_one 22
I was about to say exactly that, #2. I mean, if you're going to totally creep someone out you should at least have all your facts right.
G_Lagaffe 4
True, very true
Silent_Thrill 17
Woah woah woah, now! That's just wrong!! ... The anus is the warmest place on the body. Geez... what a creep.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
yeah...inside
ICastillo 25
Yeah that was the joke #25.....
Jessiejames337_fml 2
nice!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I was just clarifying, in case others questioned the flawless logic. Is this a problem for you? If so, kiss my warm place-hole :)
blcksocks 19
And that's when you kick him in the nuts and say "they are also the most painful..."
lemonademixer 7
ha. that was kinda funny
thebosslikeaboss 18
#win
VonGore 6
Probably just an excuse so he can keep his hands in his pants.
Roevera 14
Or maybe a way to get into her pants?
Demonfish 14
6- somehow, I don't think it will be that successful a method of seduction, just a hunch..
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#17 I don't know... I hear women like ballsy men.
imepelepticsir 5
that bawl-ows.
PeteyPablo12308 20
No
KaeSAL 11
Your pun was so bad that I can't even begin to decipher what its intended meaning was.
BabySparkle1 15
I think it means "that blows."
PinkieKeen 20
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
DKjazz 20
It's his way of letting you know he doesn't want you to ask to borrow his pencils.
AugustBurnsToast 14
That's...wow yeah that's pretty disturbing hahaha.
AidenSurvival 7
That's a lie! Maybe he should invest in gloves. And you, a restraining order perhaps?
iamzikang 17
Is that the guy who was caught filing his nails in class?