Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Walnuts or cashews?
A_Perfect_Circle 12
Tickle me Elmo just got creepy
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Comments (126)
alshygirl 14
I thought this was going to end with you startling him and him accidentally shaving his nut sack off.
Sassie8810 9
Then it would have been F HIS life.
KingLewisII 34
The fact he didn't was a .... Close shave (ba bum bum ba)
cometkeeper00 3
*Sardonically sighs in disapproval*
Harpy20 24
His scrotum smacking to floor is what your comment brought to mind.
sdroze1389 31
at least he didn't ask you to shave his taint.
gbrodee1 5
Allrighty thrn
IllestRated 17
I'd be giggling to if I was going to get some
PresidentNorth 16
I know you meant a booty call but totally came off as incest. lol
toxic_walrus 15
Pics or it didn't happen
worldclassrager 41
Do people have a sense of a door lock anymore?
oddities 20
Knocking is also useful. Siblings (and moms, well, family in general) don't really care for that though so the lock thing would be the best option.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Disturbing, but at least you have a whole new wide range of ways to make fun of him.
cakefete2 31
Let's come up with a few to help OP out. How about "baldy-cocks"? Or we can compliment his ability to use a razor and tweezers when shaving his balls.
cometkeeper00 3
baldy-cocks? that sounds like the most disgusting and awkward things to say that I've ever heard...
pinkgal2129 8
Well, that's just gross and disturbing. Ugh....was the shaver tickling him? Ew, being a girl, that just makes me grossed-out.
glabberfasted 16
I think it's being so young that is grossing you out.
oddities 20
#22, please get off of FML if "gross" things bother you. Those are some of the most common posts here. And, quite frankly, the funniest. Usually. Also, how do you think OP feels? No one needs (and barely anyone wants) to see nearly that much of their siblings.
JuzReading 23
He was probably just happy he was getting rid of the forest.
Marielle_T 10
Well, at least one of you was having a good time! XD Good luck trying to forget that one, OP!