By fuck fof and die dad - 20/11/2014 19:48 - Germany - Kiel

Spicy
Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 456
You deserved it 9 396

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Search your room for hidden surveillance.

Tell your dad to beat it.

Comments

Sounds like you weren't being very quiet!

Yeah, you should wait until no one is home.

Or his parents could've set up a surveillance camera in his room.

No it isn't, if it's in his house he can put all the cameras up he wants.

Way to go 22, make him even more paranoid. Well done. 5 to 1 if he reads your comment, he tears apart his room looking for said camera.

#51 I'm just trying to help him find out why his father would know every time he masturbates. It could save him from future embarrassment. #53 It does sound gross, and I'm definitely not for it, but it is true. The main reason why it's legal is for safety reasons. Burglaries could happen; he could sneak out at night.

#61 They do have outside cameras for those reasons, too. I'd rather have that than one in my bedroom. It does suck that's it's legal, but that's the way it is. Thankfully, a big majority of people don't place cameras in their child's room. I think it's weird, too, and invasion of privacy.

I would think that he normally isn't quiet and when he is, he is busted. Wow people went right to surveillance. I would say just turn on the TV and enjoy yourself.

I don't think it is just an invasion of privacy - surely that is sexual abuse! If you are watching someone else dress/undress/masturbate and they are under 16, with their permission or without it, it is sexual abuse. Which I believe is illegal.

Only if you get sexual pleasure out of it. As long as it is solely for security purposes you are fine.

if hes sitting in his bed chances are its shaking a little, its very obvious through walls/floor

But how could anyone tell if it is for security or something else? Seems very hard to police.

Plus it sounds like OP is a teenager and has not been told if there are cameras in the room. I think at that age you should be told if that is the case. It rings alarm bells for me. If OP had been a girl and their Dad had cameras in the room without telling them - I would say that was very very concerning.

*girl or boy

Glad you corrected that. ;P

Search your room for hidden surveillance.

that's what I'm thinking. unless OP wasn't being as quiet as he thought...

Tell your dad to beat it.

Got to love incest

He wasn't suggesting incest

Just beat it

I now have Michael Jackson in my head thanks to headofmedusa.

yeah he needs to stop being a jerk.... I tried, I'm sorry.

He shouldn't be so hard-on you, though you must-abide by his rules.

#55 Was "must abide" supposed to be a play on "masturbate"? Don't do that again.

You're supposed to MUTE your computer or use headphones. ... But we all only watch it for the storyline anyways. Right?

Sometimes the protagonist is stupid enough to be the only reason to see it.

If at first you don't succeed . . . Go into the bathroom.

That's awkward on so many levels. Go get a girlfriend or take a shower.

Yup, because it's just as simple as "go and get a girlfriend"

Or take a shower. It really isn't that difficult to meet people of you try. It is hard to meet a good person.

it is simple to get a girlfriend. some people exude the scent "desperation" just find one

but people masturbate even when in a relationship. .. so it wouldn't really help him at home. I would just turn the tv on and do it quietly under a blanket or something. or do it when noone else are home. or the shower.

Erm did you really continue trying to jack off after the third time of being asked to be quiet...?

I would've been too paranoid after the first time! this is why you make sure you are home alone or everyone is asleep

your pic is perfect for this FML

Your pic of this is perfect for this FML

Damn it, laggy

He definitely has a problem.

RA91 26

Face palm -__- complete frustration!

Not face palm, OP was trying to palm meat, but his dad keeps stopping his alone time.

Check for cameras or something

"Go away dad! You ruing the mood!"

cmchappy 25

My hero is right above this just saying