Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML
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By
ojskyguy
| 8
Search your room for hidden surveillance.
By
michaelm1290
| 23
Tell your dad to beat it.
COMMENTS
By
giantsfan2010
| 23
Sounds like you weren't being very quiet!
Reply
quickit
| 24
Yeah, you should wait until no one is home.
Reply
sunnyray812
| 42
Or his parents could've set up a surveillance camera in his room.
Reply
ghosthuggers
| 4
No it isn't, if it's in his house he can put all the cameras up he wants.
Reply
Axipiter
| 24
Way to go 22, make him even more paranoid. Well done. 5 to 1 if he reads your comment, he tears apart his room looking for said camera.
Reply
sunnyray812
| 42
#51 I'm just trying to help him find out why his father would know every time he masturbates. It could save him from future embarrassment.
#53 It does sound gross, and I'm definitely not for it, but it is true. The main reason why it's legal is for safety reasons. Burglaries could happen; he could sneak out at night.
#53 It does sound gross, and I'm definitely not for it, but it is true. The main reason why it's legal is for safety reasons. Burglaries could happen; he could sneak out at night.
Reply
sunnyray812
| 42
#61 They do have outside cameras for those reasons, too. I'd rather have that than one in my bedroom. It does suck that's it's legal, but that's the way it is. Thankfully, a big majority of people don't place cameras in their child's room. I think it's weird, too, and invasion of privacy.
Reply
sig4life
| 18
I would think that he normally isn't quiet and when he is, he is busted. Wow people went right to surveillance. I would say just turn on the TV and enjoy yourself.
Reply
interesting33
| 36
I don't think it is just an invasion of privacy - surely that is sexual abuse! If you are watching someone else dress/undress/masturbate and they are under 16, with their permission or without it, it is sexual abuse. Which I believe is illegal.
Reply
Ichiya
| 29
Only if you get sexual pleasure out of it. As long as it is solely for security purposes you are fine.
Reply
riffehunter
| 16
if hes sitting in his bed chances are its shaking a little, its very obvious through walls/floor
Reply
interesting33
| 36
But how could anyone tell if it is for security or something else? Seems very hard to police.
Reply
interesting33
| 36
Plus it sounds like OP is a teenager and has not been told if there are cameras in the room. I think at that age you should be told if that is the case. It rings alarm bells for me. If OP had been a girl and their Dad had cameras in the room without telling them - I would say that was very very concerning.
Reply
interesting33
| 36
*girl or boy
Reply
mrmcleod
| 29
Glad you corrected that. ;P
By
ojskyguy
| 8
Search your room for hidden surveillance.
Reply
tzemmy
| 25
that's what I'm thinking. unless OP wasn't being as quiet as he thought...
By
michaelm1290
| 23
Tell your dad to beat it.
Reply
waratmars
| 10
Got to love incest
Reply
JMichael
| 25
He wasn't suggesting incest
Reply
headofmedusa
| 15
Just beat it
Reply
MidnaLink
| 32
I now have Michael Jackson in my head thanks to headofmedusa.
Reply
lovelyvampire
| 16
yeah he needs to stop being a jerk.... I tried, I'm sorry.
Reply
zelious
| 8
He shouldn't be so hard-on you, though you must-abide by his rules.
Reply
RoboCunnilingus
| 23
#55 Was "must abide" supposed to be a play on "masturbate"? Don't do that again.
By
Murilirum
| 23
You're supposed to MUTE your computer or use headphones.
... But we all only watch it for the storyline anyways. Right?
... But we all only watch it for the storyline anyways. Right?
Reply
SAGARCo
| 19
Sometimes the protagonist is stupid enough to be the only reason to see it.
By
NickyK
| 25
If at first you don't succeed . . . Go into the bathroom.
By
devildog562
| 33
That's awkward on so many levels. Go get a girlfriend or take a shower.
Reply
DenverTyrrell
| 13
Yup, because it's just as simple as "go and get a girlfriend"
Reply
devildog562
| 33
Or take a shower. It really isn't that difficult to meet people of you try. It is hard to meet a good person.
Reply
foxwasalamb
| 24
it is simple to get a girlfriend. some people exude the scent "desperation" just find one
Reply
Gittoh
| 21
but people masturbate even when in a relationship. .. so it wouldn't really help him at home.
I would just turn the tv on and do it quietly under a blanket or something.
or do it when noone else are home. or the shower.
I would just turn the tv on and do it quietly under a blanket or something.
or do it when noone else are home. or the shower.
By
lammm_fml
| 18
Erm did you really continue trying to jack off after the third time of being asked to be quiet...?
Reply
badluckalex
| 23
I would've been too paranoid after the first time! this is why you make sure you are home alone or everyone is asleep
Reply
Retaheki
| 27
your pic is perfect for this FML
Reply
Retaheki
| 27
Your pic of this is perfect for this FML
Reply
Retaheki
| 27
Damn it, laggy
Reply
justthinkalittle
| 8
He definitely has a problem.
By
RA91
| 26
Face palm -__- complete frustration!
Reply
cakefete2
| 30
Not face palm, OP was trying to palm meat, but his dad keeps stopping his alone time.
By
LegalLoitering
| 12
Check for cameras or something
By
igive
| 28
"Go away dad! You ruing the mood!"
Reply
cmchappy
| 25
My hero is right above this just saying