Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
ojskyguy 8
Search your room for hidden surveillance.
michaelm1290 23
Tell your dad to beat it.
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Comments (120)
martin8337 36
Jackus interruptus.
Ieri 31
Your dad is ruining your privacy but is it really necessay to tell him to die like a sexually frustrated teenager? It's his house and he's not comfortable with you doing that (like you wouldn't be comfortable with him masturbating aswell). If you don't like it then get a house of your own.
pandalover69 26
Where does the OP say he told his dad to die? Also his dad probably masterbates and obviously not anywhere where it can bother the OP. It's OPs body he should be able to do what he wants with it in the privacy of his room like a normal teenage boy.
Ieri 31
In the name, below the FML
Ieri 31
Plus, if he knows he has such an obsessed dad that probably put cameras on his room he should just stop trying there.
Artemishuntress 8
lol op find a new location perhaps your closet the bathroom ect.. you get the picture to bad you didn't get to jack off
HeWillBeLoved105 22
That's the best thing I've ever read.
raichu23154 10
don't bring a girl over who knows what he will during ur two personal time
oJoy 11
that's disturbing, you're a grown man. what your doing is normal. tell him to **** off
lollypop30001 19
He must have a teddy bear cam on you!
ThunderTheRad 14
...Disgusting. YDI.
limabeans101029 21
Oh like you've never done it. Masturbation is normal and the vast majority of people do it. Plus it's good for you as long as it doesn't become an addiction or anything
Awesomekc 5
Maybe your too loud
darknut79 17
Try the bathroom, or maybe do it at night?