Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend has only showered about three times since we’ve been on lockdown. Our whole place smells like a sewer main burst in a pro-sports locker room filled with sweaty nut sacks and dead feet. His excuse? "It’s not like we have anywhere to go babe." I can’t even eat around him. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 24
Could be anything from gingivitis to tonsil stones. Tell him how it smells, and then tell him to go to the damn dentist.
RichardPencil 32
He needs to see a doctor. He could have problems in his lungs, sinuses or digestive tract that could be the source of the stank.
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Comments (21)
Sady_Ct 38
My husband has really bad breath as well and he’s super hygienic mouth wise, no tooth or gum issues etc. He went to the doctor about something else entirely, and the doctor noticed his breath and has started a whole Bunch of tests bloods etc. bad breath can indicate a number of other health conditions based on smell etc. maybe you should get him to the doctor.
alycion 39
As well as health conditions, some medications can do this and there are things that can be done. Try to stop avoiding the situation and help him find a real solution. Many don’t want to go to the doctors over something like this until it interferes with life. You not wanting to kiss him falls under that. A good push if he’s doctor resistant.
kyleivy 7
That's why you should have let him speak before drunk making out with him 😂
kdmittens 9
tell him to go to a dentist
Mungolikecandy 19
There are other underlying issues and he should check with a doctor regarding it. There has been shown to be a link with heart disease and bad breath and also diabetes and other issues.
Rhett_15 22
Could be some really gross post-nasal drip. Daily use of a neti pot, Zyrtec, and a tongue scraper should take care of it.
bobsanction 18
Have you tried being honest? Halitosis has many causes and can be treated.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Could be something medical. I'd tell him to go to a dentist to see if it's something more serious.
Shorterry 7
Just give him a bj and soon as you see him every time then tell him you don't want to kiss him with cum breath