Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML
Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML
Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
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Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
Someone had two forks in them?? Did they try to get one out with another?
gonad_gobbler 1
I was going to take a stab at a pun, but I was afraid my joke just wasn't going to cut it.
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Comments (77)
jayhawkchik 4
Huh, sux to be the overachiever with 2 forks stuck in them. What the hell merits being stabbed with 2 forks?!
BananerzFresh 12
I those Turkeys weren't going to be eaten without a fight.
I3eefChowFun 7
Wait, someone had 2 forks in them? "Ouch, I stabbed myself with a carving fork. But it's ok. Lets try again with another fork."
BigSexy123 11
You have won the internet for today. That mental image made me laugh.
Smeelover27 15
I'm sure DocBastard can empathize with your username.
SqWR37 2
5 forks in 4 people....who the hell got stabbed twice???
Bright_Lights 14
Ah, America...
klm2purple 18
I was almost expecting it to say I pulled four forks out of five people! Would have loved to see that in person...
EvilLee 1
BEST story, Ever!
shawnagreenbean1 9
So that means... One of them had two stuck in them? Hoooowwwwwww!??
herponi 2
FIVE forks. FOUR people??