Kids: Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled...

By sly - 04/01/2009 03:55 - France

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 146

You deserved it 3 777

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Sissy - 06/12/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 349

By Rejected - 16/07/2011 13:28 - Australia

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 251

You deserved it 4 759

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 695

You deserved it 5 579

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 473

By Danielle - 22/08/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 4 386

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 108

You deserved it 404

By Anonyme - 16/05/2014 07:55 - Canada - Saint-jean-de-matha

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 916

You deserved it 9 830

By Bob - 11/04/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 792

You deserved it 9 792

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:06

hhaha that's ******* adorable "find another simon"

HOLLAcaust 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:48

That's adorable lol "Go find another Simon!"

Comments

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:06

hhaha that's ******* adorable "find another simon"

truelyawesome 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 9:01

dude, that kid is bound for great things

DarkPrince_fml 0

Monday 29 March 2010 1:20

owned

Mcstroodlenugget 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 18:18

soooo cute <3

kikilovesyouhh 0

Friday 6 August 2010 23:51

awe, owned by your own son. (;

ellie12345678999 13

Thursday 24 October 2013 8:28

Ik so cute

katieatieay 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 17:53

i just love the name simon.

SuperheroHope 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 23:36

meee tooo

thefmlman2011 36

Tuesday 7 October 2014 13:13

I don't like Simon Cowell.... Nah, he's not a bad guy

macfluffers 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 6:05

It's his fault for being so cute.

elfknight 0

Monday 2 March 2009 8:10

Don't fret too much over it. It's normal to start to pull away from mom at that age, a little bit.

HOLLAcaust 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:48

That's adorable lol "Go find another Simon!"

convict617 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:49

That would make me go :3. You're a weird parent.

manoverboard 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 0:25

xDD I love that name, too. Adorableee.

Root123 0

Monday 16 March 2009 4:17

FYL? I think it's adorable!

cheerup4lifesux 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:37

That's so funny hahaha. Another Simon. lol. Not ****** at all.

lovemischa 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 6:35

AWWWWWWWWWWW! lololol!!! What a cute son!

asl_for_life 6

Sunday 27 May 2012 23:20

laugh out loud out loud out loud?

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 2 March 2015 10:03

Or is it laugh out laugh out laugh out laugh out loud?

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I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 5 588

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You deserved it 53 948

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I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 127

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I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 1 518

Today, I took an Uber from work to my friend's home. My water bottle, which was in my backpack in the back seat, leaked and left a little water on his fabric seat. I got an $80 "professional cleaning" bill from Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 653

You deserved it 748

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

People of Walmart

Wham!

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