Bad boy

By Sissy - 06/12/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year-old son started rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly, "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looked at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 285
You deserved it 3 372
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Top comments

null_fml 11

Before reading the last sentence, I assumed he meant a dog. I'm sure everyone around did too. Embarrassing still, but not as bad as it could be.

100 1
glorbnakcs 0

Solution: Mention to those around you that Simon is your dog. Not really a big deal.

61 1

Comments

sportsnut 0

agreed. why not make it clear by defusing the situation by saying something like, "honey, Simon is a puppy and he doesn't know any better but it is not OK for you to do that." and POW! you have avoided major embarrassment...and are just embarrassed slighty

36 1
goldy18 0

he probably doesn't even relate the word "hump" to anything sexual. he just thinks it's something funny that the dog does, and was trying to be funny

22 1
Rijii 0

Yeah, but where did he even hear the word "hump" to begin with? Granted, he probably overheard his parents say it when the dog was humping something and you're right, he doesn't relate it to anything sexual, but they still shouldn't have said it around him. That's still majorly embarrassing!

10 7
Moemoemoe_fml 0

"Humping" is not a vulgar or sexual only term. Get your heads out of your butts already! Even for a kid there's nothing wrong with that term. It relates to the movement, NOT to penetration.

19 2
fantasyworld 37

The things on camels backs are called humps. I knew that when I was little, long before the sex term.

2 0
null_fml 11

Before reading the last sentence, I assumed he meant a dog. I'm sure everyone around did too. Embarrassing still, but not as bad as it could be.

100 1
ryanisexy 5

I thought he was sexually being harassed at school.

0 11
iangoodall311278 0

kids are soo funny! bless him

26 2
glorbnakcs 0

Solution: Mention to those around you that Simon is your dog. Not really a big deal.

61 1
TheComputerGuy96 16

How the **** can a 3-year-old talk like that???

31 8
MathBlows 0

kids say the darndest things

9 2
KuroKona 0

At that age, most humans are capable of speech. Not everyone is as delayed as you are.

34 4
malakian_fml 0

How the **** can a 3 year old say one simple sentence? It's not hard....

3 12
Nakedsquirrel 5

Where does a three-year old learn a word like hump, let alone know what it means? I knew plenty of profanity at a young age thanks to my dad, but never something like hump.

36 5
glorbnakcs 0

"hump" is profanity?

13 2
Electricsheep 4

To someone who tends to be treated like 'stupid' is a naughty word.

1 4
LilaBear 1

glorbnakcs - it's not profanity but it's a vulgar word for a 3yo to be using.

5 3
gonzolove 0

I knew the word hump when I was that young, but I knew it as the thing on a camel's back.

15 1
Moemoemoe_fml 0

"Humping" is not a vulgar or sexual only term. Get your heads out of your butts already! Even for a kid there's nothing wrong with that term. It relates to the movement, NOT to penetration.

0 13
iliveinthesky_fml 0

well not everyone is raised the way...-_-

6 1
iliveinthesky_fml 0

the *same way

6 1
bleedingglitter 24

The mom or dad probably yelled "no don't hump that" at the dog? Kids pick up whatever word you don't want them to say no matter how infrequently you say it.

0 0