Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter told me I was blocking her view of her puppy. She said, "Dad, your boobs are too long!" FML
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why did you have a two year old in a hot tub and a communal one at that? They have signs at my club stating young children aren't to go in and I researched why. The temps are too high for little people who can't regulate their body temp yet. And the ick factor is unreal. They get yeast infections, UTIs, and other infections eadily from there. Eh, maybe that only applies to babies and not toddlers but better safe than sorry.
Zmeilerr 22
Oh god, she likes the fat ones
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Comments (86)
Zmeilerr 22
My little girl in my picture would never do that to anyone. bad mom
PrincessesCrown 17
Your sister is so cute!
XDBrittany1228 0
she sounds adorable
QWERTYCommander 5
Don't worry. There were probably plenty of men there who had big moobs. The guy probably thought you were talking about someone else... Okay, nah.
XDBrittany1228 0
oh and may I suggest hearing aids? 2 year olds don't mutter.
XDBrittany1228 0
and a parenting guide might help.
nidawi 0
Kids say the darndest things.
ALERI0N 0
ahahaha
ICabooseI 0
YDI for teaching/letting her know these words at an early age!
foreverabearfan 3
OP you better read up on hot tubs! They cause respitory problems in children---how could you not know that, and risk your childs health?? Our state is trying to put a ban on children under 6 not allowed in any public hot tub!
jagrmeister721 2
Teach that idiot kid of yours some manners, you white-trash imbecile.