Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DameGreyWulf 1
.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?
hk_fml 9
Sexy!
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Comments (154)
Syn_fml 0
She's your girlfriend and you've never kissed her?
just_one_more 0
YDI for going four dates without a single kiss.
LewJH 0
It's a win win situation ;D
Whatsername515 0
You don't "take your girlfriend to the movies," you go to the movies with her. She's not a dog. And I feel bad for her; getting someone elses blood and snot down their chest, yuck.
Beans_fml 0
If you're driving and paying, you're taking her to the movies. If you go Dutch, you're going to the movies with her. Considering the facts (Waiting until date 4 to try for a kiss, Conservative girlfriend)... He probably took her to the movies.
Pointy130 0
here you make it seem like it's your fault. SHE broke your nose, not you
ArthursLifeSucks 2
x2 for lick that stuff off the boobies. "You gotta lick it, before we kick it"
LittleMel4 0
#13-Keith-FTW! OP-she-is-your-GF-after-dates-ummm sorry-guys-spacebar-busted
mmmyeahsaraa 0
LMAO nastyyyy
Blurggle 0
Smooth..
Waffles41687 0
God man I feel bad for you. If its this bad to get a kiss just imagine the ugly possiblities of when you first bang her. XD