Love: Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative...

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 733

You deserved it 4 737

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 599

You deserved it 4 896

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 20:44 - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 846

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 5 953

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 7 018

By Anonymous - 20/05/2018 01:30

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 065

You deserved it 557

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 677

You deserved it 4 725

By Nerrh - 12/03/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 33 634

By Hana - 23/03/2012 07:39 - Canada - York

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 105

You deserved it 5 986

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:40

.... Conservative.... but she has cleavage. For some reason, this annoys me. FYL though. Better luck next time? At least you have a funny story?

hk_fml 9

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:39

Sexy!

Comments

Syn_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 14:40

She's your girlfriend and you've never kissed her?

just_one_more 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 14:46

YDI for going four dates without a single kiss.

LewJH 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 15:43

It's a win win situation ;D

Whatsername515 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 16:02

You don't "take your girlfriend to the movies," you go to the movies with her. She's not a dog. And I feel bad for her; getting someone elses blood and snot down their chest, yuck.

Beans_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 17:54

If you're driving and paying, you're taking her to the movies. If you go Dutch, you're going to the movies with her. Considering the facts (Waiting until date 4 to try for a kiss, Conservative girlfriend)... He probably took her to the movies.