Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
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Top comments
KatherineAnne 7
You sure know how to pick um! Haha
chick92282 15
And then you broke up with the thieving little slime, right? PLEASE tell me you broke up with the @ss!
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Comments (178)
Epsilonyx 15
Maybe he just has an addiction...talk to him about it and help. People like that need someone to stick with them rather than leave them haha.
gracehi 33
Sorry, but if the boyfriend has an addiction, that's his problem, not OP's. I stuck with a guy who had drug problems for 3 years, and all he ever did was get worse and make my life worse because I was his crutch. If OP really wants to help her boyfriend, the best thing she can do is leave him.
SomeAnonymousBro 4
75 not really..what's that going to teach him?
jizzwold 21
He isn't saying that op should stand by the boyfriends theoretical addiction but that she should help him to overcome it.
siickman 7
Wow i said the same thing in a comment of a comment and its get voted down, and so will this because thats how you guys roll. ****.
gracehi 33
It'll teach him that his addictive behavior won't be tolerated. That's the best way to help him. You can't proect people from the consequences of their actions b/c then they never learn. If OP lets him get away with it this time, he'll do it again & next time the consequences could be far worse.
gracehi 33
But the main concern is that OP look out for herself. A person like that can only make life difficult for the people close to them. If he were her husband or her brother, it would be worth the trouble to help him, but since he's just a boyfriend, she's likely to get nothing but heartache.
Epsilonyx 15
I think people learn. That's the basis of my life, though, so idk if it's just me. It's still nice to know you did something even if it's detrimental to you.
gracehi 33
That's the whole point! If she lets this slide, he won't learn and if she dumps him he might. If she stays with him not only will it be detrimental to her but he'll only get worse. You can't help an addict by dating them. You help them by checking them into rehab.
bienlunee 6
Whatever. That's dumb. Let somebody fix him who can.
1094568 1
Lol....gracehi.... You are judging people by looking at one person it is not fair and you are worse than you're bf...what did you do to help you're bf get off drugs..? Stop bitching and look at other ppl's point of view.
gracehi 33
#119. Obvious troll is obvious, but since you ask I'll tell you what I did to help my ex husband (not my boyfriend fyi). I gave him job applications which he never filled out, made him therapy appointments that he never showed up to and showed him unrelenting love and affection.
gracehi 33
How did my husband respond to this? He stole my money & possessions to support his addiction (including my gun which almost got ME arrested), slept around like the crack ***** he was, and strangled and bruised me when I stood up to him. It starts out small but escalates to a miserable life.
hrd4mud 0
that steeling isn't tolerated !!!
kperkins897 11
It's called the disease of addiction for a reason.
ILoveEggnog 7
Did you at least show him where the rest of the pills are?
caybree 0
He was trying to steal sleep medicine? I don't know who to feel more sorry for; you or your weirdo boyfriend.
SatansBiggestFan 4
ambien just so happens to make you trip balls if you take them and stay awake. so that's why he was taking them. Or maybe he is just weird.
coried91 28
I would say he is both.
murdersquirrel 15
Right to the Sahara!
kirrra 11
what a great first impression he would have made if someone else had walked in..time to find a decent guy op
Cad6 24
What a swell guy. I still wouldn't bet on the prospect of him having Insomnia though.
perdix 31
Wow, you are in for a wild night of sleep-sex from your bf while your irritable, insomniac mother rages about the house. Your dad's one lucky guy :)
rubberduckie94 13
I was thinking of all the prescription drugs to steal he steals a sleeping pill. She should dump him because he does not steal the good stuff of for no other reason.
pinkcrayola 0
43 have you ever been on ambien? I don't advocate stealing it from someone else's parent, but it's one he'll of a trip
DYL1001 3
I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW FOR YOU AND YOUR MOM BECAUSE TAKE SLEEP MEDS TOO.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yep, those ambiens are not going to save him from the hot sun and lack of water.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Good thing you found out now he's a theif instead of later. Saved wasted time.
1094568 1
Lol this is not end of the world stop making a big fuss