Work: Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away.... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 99

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 40

05/03/2013 03:38

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 079

You deserved it 3 572

Dementia or hate? You decide

Judge not lest ye be judged

Deadlines whooshing by

02/04/2016 17:48

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 420

You deserved it 3 257

15/03/2010 13:33

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 2 474

25/12/2016 21:23

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 2 312

28/08/2013 18:50

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 868

You deserved it 58 801

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 07:01

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 293

10/06/2010 12:54

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 927

You deserved it 3 941

06/12/2018 14:00

Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 382

02/08/2010 00:20

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 353

You deserved it 3 065

27/10/2008 03:27

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 58 055

10/04/2015 06:28

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 578

You deserved it 2 500

02/10/2013 08:12

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 54 777

05/01/2012 11:43

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 328

You deserved it 2 453

10/08/2009 20:18

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you". He broke up with me on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 729

You deserved it 16 272

01/02/2010 02:12

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 3 468

12/01/2016 02:47

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 934

You deserved it 6 905

23/03/2011 14:58

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 460

You deserved it 3 184

17/11/2010 17:13

Spicy

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 925

You deserved it 12 135

05/12/2010 13:53

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 599

You deserved it 11 050

01/02/2011 20:14

Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 869

You deserved it 9 849

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 950

You deserved it 66 960

21/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend would not ride in my convertible with the top down because he "didn't want to mess up his hair." My boyfriend is prissier than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 402

Heavy load

By Anon - 18/12/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 112

You deserved it 368

26/10/2013 18:40

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 974

You deserved it 4 176

12/06/2009 06:39

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 691

You deserved it 11 163

14/05/2011 11:15

Spicy

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 314

You deserved it 17 869

21/02/2011 19:20

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 294

You deserved it 6 502

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 17:00

Today my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 109

23/01/2018 01:30

Today, while on my way to work, I had a tire blowout. I got the car towed and borrowed my mom’s so that I could still get to work. Her car seized and died on the expressway ramp. It’s not in any tow truck’s jurisdiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 995

You deserved it 284

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 021

You deserved it 247

20/07/2009 01:06

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247 246

You deserved it 15 350

Impressive

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 08:01

Today, I had a big job interview on Zoom. I forgot my name was set as "Fat F***". I joined the call and the older lady interviewing me was very offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 1 354

11/01/2011 02:24

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 814

You deserved it 5 669

23/05/2010 01:24

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 824

You deserved it 3 522

28/06/2009 04:47

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 662

You deserved it 67 807

15/09/2010 21:20

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 616

You deserved it 4 142

19/09/2014 15:30

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 458

You deserved it 5 233

02/09/2009 13:01

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 609

You deserved it 13 912

13/10/2009 06:54

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 101

You deserved it 121 094

22/05/2009 19:50

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 791

You deserved it 11 572

20/01/2009 08:27

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 5 990

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Top comments

katt_is_here 24

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:20

Speak up. I would have told them, "I'm terribly sorry that I had to take time off for my FATHER'S FUNERAL. I hope you will be able to COPE somehow!."

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:12

Forget them, you do what you need to do

Comments

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:10

How dare you take time for yourself OP

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:59

It's insulting to their honor. Really, how dare he?

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 11:33

Well they probably sang the StateFarm jingle and he wasn't there. Pssh great neighbor he is.

LiveLoveBeatles 19

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 12:16

13 and 15, how many guys do you know named Kathleen?

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 12:26

I know a guy named Kat, does that count?

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:12

Forget them, you do what you need to do

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:16

What you're doing is to important to be worried about making other people happy at that time.

katt_is_here 24

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:20

Speak up. I would have told them, "I'm terribly sorry that I had to take time off for my FATHER'S FUNERAL. I hope you will be able to COPE somehow!."

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:24

honestly man when I got in trouble for taking time off school for my dads funeral I went berserk. fuck them they clearly have no idea what they're talking about.

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 18:52

I was in highschool when my grandmother got cancer I had been living with her for the past god knows how many years I wasn't sleeping from being back ans forth to the hospital I fell asleep in English class ans got yelled at she. I explained my grandmother who raised and cares for me was dying she said "I don't care, sit up." I hit her...

heyitsvanessaa 9

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:24

Im sorry about your loss OP. Don't let it bother you. You have the right to take time off. Your father passed away, it's not like you're on some vacation.

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:25

Sorry for your loss OP. I hope you can ignore any negativity at this time and be given time to mourn. X

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:30

Haha, that's quite amusing. If only it didn't have such a crappy background :(

missnovocaine 14

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 12:35

How the fuck is that amusing?

Supergirl1988 16

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:40

See it as a compliment. They struggle without you.

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Tuesday 5 March 2013 10:42

Even if you were only on a vacation, you certainly have the right to take a break now and then. I would have spoken up, personally, and given them a piece of my mind.