FML : Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life."...

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Friday 8 February 2013 22:38 / United Kingdom - Romford

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Top comments

By Teyros | 24

#5360016 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:15

Bring your friends over and show him up!

By XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5360067 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:30

OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P
Later that day:
OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!"
Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that."
OP: *runs away to post another FML*

Comments

By Teyros | 24

#5360016 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:15

Bring your friends over and show him up!

MrSassypants | 31

#5360062 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:29

"How much did you pay your "friends" to come over, Mary?"

EpicSquishii | 21

#5360082 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:39

15- The scene in Family Guy where Meg has a picnic with her dead "boyfriend" in the woods comes to mind lol

banana527 | 12

#5360204 - Saturday 9 February 2013 4:40

Or just text urself from ur fone. It beeps as if u got a message, but it just sends ur txt back to u. Change your contact name in ur fone Johnny❤ and then it looks like ur not a loser...... Don't ask me how I no this........

RaggleFrock | 13

#5360206 - Saturday 9 February 2013 4:43

41- that's a lot of effort. Get a real boyfriend.

DocBastard | 38

#5360224 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:12

Banana527, I put your comment through my Idiot-English Translation Engine, but it overloaded and exploded. So now I have to fucking repair it. Again.

Thanks ever so much. Maybe next time try using an actual language when you post a comment.

Axipiter | 24

#5360238 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:35

Oh 41, you're so naïve it's almost adorable. You must be new here, so I'll go easy. Learn the English language. Use it. You're welcome. Don't just txt evry1 lik ur txting ur buddies. Shit don't work that way 'round here.

Jovecove | 13

#5360438 - Saturday 9 February 2013 7:44

Mary had a little lamb

ICastillo | 24

#5360474 - Saturday 9 February 2013 8:51

It's fleece was white as snow

superminty | 18

#5360487 - Saturday 9 February 2013 9:22

Unfortunately enough, God forbid someone express themselves using spelling separate from the accepted form.

mohamm11 | 4

#5360672 - Saturday 9 February 2013 14:32

Can't see 41's comment! Was it reported?

Spyingcheeseman | 8

#5862706 - Wednesday 19 February 2014 13:24

So if you had sex with a hot guy he wouldn't believe you? NOWS YOUR CHANCE!

By rikitsumiatsu | 11

#5360017 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:15

Tell him at least you pretend to have friends he just knows he has none and can't even pretend.

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5360067 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:30

By TheManager | 6

#5360019 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:16

Your dad is awesome. Only the boring dads refrain from making fun of their kids.

MrSassypants | 31

#5360087 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:41

I know, right? My dad called me fat, punched me in the face, set me on fire, then threw me out the window saying "fly fatty! Fly!" Ah.... good times, good times...

TheManager | 6

#5360091 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:43

Oh, you!

Axipiter | 24

#5360239 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:37

Gimpy!?

theannonymousone | 0

#5362633 - Monday 11 February 2013 2:21

23, I still hate you for landing on me.

By accioshannon | 17

#5360021 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:17

Most dads are like that, aren't they?

ShannyAK | 16

#5360096 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:46

Ignore your dad! Have a good time op!

JenkJenks | 6

#5360232 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:21

Or laugh with your dad since it was a joke and you need to be able to take little shots like that. Don't be so sensitive.

By TorturedXeno | 27

#5360028 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:18

Trolldad strikes again.

RoperGirl203 | 9

#5360242 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:43

Your profile pic is cute.:3

*pulls up chair and waits for the mass wave of thumbs down*
:)

By NotGabe | 28

#5360031 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:19

At least he doesn't think that you're going out to impregnate a girl. Every. Single. Time. I can't even buy Pokemon without him thinking that.

ohcheriecherie | 20

#5360049 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:24

I think....OP is female... I mean, the name is Mary, and assuming she's biologically female...

poccocurantes | 7

#5360083 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:39

Maybe he's a Hobbit.

dalink | 24

#5360207 - Saturday 9 February 2013 4:43

I think notgabe was referring to himself.

eyesmile27 | 7

#5360360 - Saturday 9 February 2013 6:45

So my parents aren't the only ones who do that!

dmoran20 | 27

#5363065 - Monday 11 February 2013 10:01

If you tell them you are going out to buy Pokemon cards then I promise you they really do hope you are out impregnating some one ;-)

By denden_mushi | 10

#5360034 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:20

Were you actually pretending? It's okay to say it, we're all friends here.....

TheAbstract | 14

#5360419 - Saturday 9 February 2013 7:24

Just not with Mary.

By mangoboy1 | 19

#5360038 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:21

Your dad is a dick

VannahJane | 17

#5360122 - Saturday 9 February 2013 3:07

Nah he's just a funny guy

RoperGirl203 | 9

#5360244 - Saturday 9 February 2013 5:45

8, you're a dick. Lol

By lucyy123 | 14

#5360039 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:22

That is just sad

AssTard | 15

#5360104 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:53

That's kind of the reason they posted it here.

By GypsyBones | 7

#5360043 - Saturday 9 February 2013 2:23

Tough love. If you were bluffing then hopefully that was a nice kick in the ass to get out there and make some friends. If ya weren't, well, that's dads for you.