By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 22:38 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 382
You deserved it 3 298

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Bring your friends over and show him up!

OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*

Comments

Bring your friends over and show him up!

"How much did you pay your "friends" to come over, Mary?"

15- The scene in Family Guy where Meg has a picnic with her dead "boyfriend" in the woods comes to mind lol

Or just text urself from ur fone. It beeps as if u got a message, but it just sends ur txt back to u. Change your contact name in ur fone Johnny❤ and then it looks like ur not a loser...... Don't ask me how I no this........

41- that's a lot of effort. Get a real boyfriend.

Banana527, I put your comment through my Idiot-English Translation Engine, but it overloaded and exploded. So now I have to fucking repair it. Again. Thanks ever so much. Maybe next time try using an actual language when you post a comment.

Oh 41, you're so naïve it's almost adorable. You must be new here, so I'll go easy. Learn the English language. Use it. You're welcome. Don't just txt evry1 lik ur txting ur buddies. Shit don't work that way 'round here.

Mary had a little lamb

It's fleece was white as snow

Unfortunately enough, God forbid someone express themselves using spelling separate from the accepted form.

Can't see 41's comment! Was it reported?

So if you had sex with a hot guy he wouldn't believe you? NOWS YOUR CHANCE!

Tell him at least you pretend to have friends he just knows he has none and can't even pretend.

OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*

Your dad is awesome. Only the boring dads refrain from making fun of their kids.

I know, right? My dad called me fat, punched me in the face, set me on fire, then threw me out the window saying "fly fatty! Fly!" Ah.... good times, good times...

23, I still hate you for landing on me.

Most dads are like that, aren't they?

Ignore your dad! Have a good time op!

Or laugh with your dad since it was a joke and you need to be able to take little shots like that. Don't be so sensitive.

TorturedXeno 27

Trolldad strikes again.

Your profile pic is cute.:3 *pulls up chair and waits for the mass wave of thumbs down* :)

At least he doesn't think that you're going out to impregnate a girl. Every. Single. Time. I can't even buy Pokemon without him thinking that.

I think....OP is female... I mean, the name is Mary, and assuming she's biologically female...

Maybe he's a Hobbit.

I think notgabe was referring to himself.

So my parents aren't the only ones who do that!

If you tell them you are going out to buy Pokemon cards then I promise you they really do hope you are out impregnating some one ;-)

Were you actually pretending? It's okay to say it, we're all friends here.....

Just not with Mary.

Your dad is a dick

Nah he's just a funny guy

8, you're a dick. Lol

That is just sad

That's kind of the reason they posted it here.

Tough love. If you were bluffing then hopefully that was a nice kick in the ass to get out there and make some friends. If ya weren't, well, that's dads for you.