Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, I went out with my parents and a family friend. After saying goodbye to the friend and as soon as the elevator doors shut, my parents started trash-talking the friend's looks, stature, choice of clothes, etc. Now I understand a lot about my education growing up. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
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Top comments
Teyros 24
Bring your friends over and show him up!
XxDevilxXGt 26
OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*
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Comments (81)
lexieB2014 19
This reminded me of Meg off of family guy lol but i agree prove him wrong :)
buckdharma 38
Bring home that polite" Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner" boy. I imagine he needs a new girlfriend.
bigbootcat 2
You're dad is awesome! and are you that much of a loser that you're parents think you don't have any friends? haha loser
Cesar40504 2
At least your going out unlike him hahaha
TheOneTC 8
I must say, I was more impressed by the word "guffawed" being used than the actual FML.
madisonnnnn13 11
Good old supportive dad
perdix 31
Why is your username "Anonymous" when you told us your name is Mary? What are you trying to hide, Mary?
Satoaoi 13
I guess number 3 is right but still kinda mean
laden_swallow09 35
He must read a few FMLs, himself.
somecoolperson1 2
You're going to stay at a hotel by yourself all night, aren't you?