Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, I went out with my parents and a family friend. After saying goodbye to the friend and as soon as the elevator doors shut, my parents started trash-talking the friend's looks, stature, choice of clothes, etc. Now I understand a lot about my education growing up. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Teyros 24
Bring your friends over and show him up!
XxDevilxXGt 26
OP would be a bit late on the comeback though, just sayin'. :P Later that day: OP:"By the way dad, you can't even pretend because you KNOW you don't have friends!" Dad: "Honey, you probably had to browse the internet to come up with that." OP: *runs away to post another FML*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
R00ST3R 12
Best part of this FML is that OP posted as anonymous yet says her name in the FML is posted. Epic Fail.
CheeseHater 23
You know, she might've just left it blank because she forgot about it. Don't be such a downer.
sonnyrosa 32
I don't know why I found this so funny... but you just made my day
ulissey_fml 22
teach him a lesson: Mary me.
60cent 7
Show him some pictures of your friends if u cannot invite them OP.
Iniezian 18
Teach him a lesson. Have sex with 3 guys and text him the pics, along with the caption "Does this count as a social life?" *This was totally worth all the thumbs-downs I'm gonna get. Lol.*
imanassholetoo 8
Do you look like Meg?
NHope_fml 17
I like how the FML is Anonymous but we got the name of the writer in here xD By the way, FML. It world be hard to figured out how much your father do not know you...
freshko21 6
Sounds like you're a regular Meg from family guy haha sorry op
abbiepearson_ 9
This definitely sounds like something that would happen to me c:
RainbowSlime 1
The awkward moment when my name is Mary and that is something my dad would say 0.o
alchemist13 5
My names Mary...