By Anonymous

He's still got it

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1614

You deserved it

128

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Mother of the year

Late term

Inspirational tale

By Jo - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26809

You deserved it

3934

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By none - United States

Who said life was better before ?

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1 p.m., smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4 a.m., jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13108

You deserved it

46112

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 11:01

Deception

Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

977

You deserved it

131

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23980

You deserved it

4628

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8132

You deserved it

40198

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my stepmother proved once again that she likes to play favourites. She has no job, so anything she gifts comes from my dad’s account. On my last birthday, I got £5 on a cheap card. Today, my step-brother's birthday, he got £400 and an iPad. He’s 4 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4371

You deserved it

221

Favorite

By GrannyAt22 - Canada

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20880

You deserved it

26815

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at the airport, a lady bitched me out for changing her departure gate. She called me incompetent and accused me of "messing with people's lives" by "making them walk." I didn't change the gate, and the other gate was less than 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34468

You deserved it

2414

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Victoria

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35097

You deserved it

3987

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By Sarsippius

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48562

You deserved it

6190

Favorite

By Lo

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65682

You deserved it

4696

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By Puppysit88 - United States

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

92673

You deserved it

9041

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By evil - United States

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43898

You deserved it

4368

Favorite

By Doubleyew1 - United States

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34336

You deserved it

4872

Favorite

By Uhmm... - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46839

You deserved it

4276

Favorite

By cookiemonster - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45346

You deserved it

6650

Favorite

By Now What - United States - South Otselic

Today, my boyfriend told me he only loves me sometimes. He explained what days he chooses to love me and what days he doesn't want to. I told him that's not how it works. He disagreed. He's 27. He still doesn't understand why this is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13742

You deserved it

1289

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/4/2021 17:00 - United States - Elmwood Park

Thanks for the support

Today, I told my dad I’m applying for a big pageant and I’ll find out tomorrow if I’m chosen to compete. I told him that there's a registration fee and a sponsorship fee. I then said that I might not be picked, but he assured me that I would… because they want the money from the fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

620

You deserved it

229

Favorite

By FML136969 - United States - Oxford

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22733

You deserved it

50231

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 07:58

Missing the point

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I checked his phone. The reason I did so was to get his mum’s number so I could arrange to send her his Xmas present in a parcel, as a surprise as I wouldn't be with him. He found out when he asked me how I managed it, and I told him honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1017

You deserved it

284

Favorite

By SchwesterGrimm

Today, a man sat next to me on a train carriage, despite various empty seats. During a weird conversation, I told him that I'm on my way back from London after seeing a friend from Germany there. He goes on to talk about Nazis and, with one arm in the air, asks me if he's doing the salute right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13259

You deserved it

943

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Knoxville

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13502

You deserved it

7240

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By Anonymous - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25883

You deserved it

3220

Favorite

By suckerrrrr - United States

Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51132

You deserved it

14553

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Richmond

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58357

You deserved it

16690

Favorite

By broken down and flat broke - United States - Alexandria

Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20739

You deserved it

1332

Favorite

By wherefelix - United States

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38019

You deserved it

9463

Favorite

By ILoveLamps - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31147

You deserved it

2854

Favorite

By Boned...hard - France

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26439

You deserved it

3600

Favorite

By RotoRooter - United States

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73300

You deserved it

12581

Favorite

By siighh - Australia

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35236

You deserved it

3235

Favorite

By msmusiclover7 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30541

You deserved it

3558

Favorite

By Homeless - United States

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

I agree, your life sucks

96866

You deserved it

3511

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24046

You deserved it

6582

Favorite

By Dry

Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4790

You deserved it

406

Favorite

By that girl - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

55133

You deserved it

12581

Favorite

By wtfguys - United States

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35174

You deserved it

3650

Favorite

By fuckthat! - United States - Madison

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband had the audacity to ask if the woman he cheated on me with could be in the delivery room while I give birth to our baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5563

You deserved it

296

Favorite

By Jane - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40818

You deserved it

6129

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28481

You deserved it

2366

Favorite

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Top comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7854159 - Saturday 26 October 2019 2:57

Never go to parties with your parents. That's just asking for trouble.

By EmDizzle2007 | 28

#7854155 - Saturday 26 October 2019 2:22

flashed or mooned??

COMMENTS

By EmDizzle2007 | 28

#7854155 - Saturday 26 October 2019 2:22

flashed or mooned??

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7854159 - Saturday 26 October 2019 2:57

Never go to parties with your parents. That's just asking for trouble.

mfranks19891989 | 10

#7854283 - Saturday 26 October 2019 14:47

I going to assume the party was at the house and if she still lives at home then the parents are automatically invited.