Miscellaneous: Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 00:33 - United States - Durham

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 52 923

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By steven - 24/06/2009 15:33 - Canada

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 987

You deserved it 112 525

Silver linings

By 10 years, 0 dates - 28/11/2020 11:03

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 140

By theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 717

You deserved it 3 718

By KeepOnTruckin' - 18/05/2019 17:50

Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 559

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 469

You deserved it 9 902

By thirdwheel - 15/02/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 772

You deserved it 3 172

By ShouldHaveDoneItMyself - 05/07/2016 17:04 - Sudan

Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "Fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 121

You deserved it 12 396

Not so BFF

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 09:00 - United States - Spring

Today, I asked out the guy I like, and he said yes. Later, I found out that he used to date my BFF and he broke up with her right before I'd asked him. I left him saying he should have told me earlier and that I would be weird if we dated. I talked to my BFF about it and she got mad at me. She literally didn't even tell me about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 204

By okaythen - 14/08/2016 19:21 - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 421

You deserved it 5 006

By single - 15/12/2017 10:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school to go to the Winter Formal with him. She took up the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 224

You deserved it 506

Next

Top comments

OscarDV 8

Sunday 26 January 2014 10:43

BURN!!

Rozza17 29

Sunday 26 January 2014 10:47

You totally deserved it!!! It's rude of you to even make someone do that. What if the girl found out the actual truth as to why your friend asked her out.

Comments

hey_its_me_ 20

Sunday 26 January 2014 15:36

... She said yes. FML

ckerane 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 15:47

thats horrible , lets hope your girlfriend doesnt find out what you done behind her back =

dcfox68 4

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:56

I hope she does. He doesn't deserve her.

uarudeassbitchyo 17

Sunday 26 January 2014 15:53

Karmas a bitch

tishtashbat 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:09

So is the FML supposed to be that your friend thinks your girlfriend is ugly? You're lucky to have a girlfriend at all if you get your kicks from childish 'humour' and making other people feel bad about themselves.

Sports_guy3 28

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:22

It's more than a little bit funny.... It's hilarious!

MaySFML 4

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:44

******* instant karma.

lionhardt13 10

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:44

zing!

Hashk 6

Sunday 26 January 2014 17:26

I hope she breaks up with you

Dt33345 13

Sunday 26 January 2014 17:28

I'm sure he did that to mess with you.

davincidasecond 24

Sunday 26 January 2014 17:36

**** your girlfriend's life. You on the other hand ... I can't say I really have any sympathy for you. I hate people who make dares that just make others more insecure than they already are.

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Animals Embarrassing Phobias Ecology Health Bikes Transportation Drunk AITA Work Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek Weird Vacation Mysterious Gamers Video games Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying

The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 477

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 126

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 938

You deserved it 3 524

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 974

You deserved it 742

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 61

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 900

You deserved it 2 880

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 830