Coworkers and Work: A-hole

A-hole

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 19:11 - United States - Salida

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 098

You deserved it 4 285

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Same thing different taste

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 145

Snitches

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 76

Seize the day

By Nick - 06/08/2013 14:44 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 3 589

By jeed(1) - 25/08/2013 21:36 - France - Marseille

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 677

You deserved it 5 299

Leftovers

By anon - 16/11/2022 18:00

Today, I went back to work after a nasty sinus infection. While I was talking to my manager, I sniffled, and a huge ropy string of green snot popped out of my nose. My manager pointed and shrieked, "OH MY GOD! EWWWW!", getting the attention of everyone in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 234

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 673

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 380

You deserved it 2 933

By tumblrinas_at_work - 02/05/2015 08:04 - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 986

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 3 096

Everybody does

By Bill - 30/05/2021 23:59 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, I’ve been unemployed for 5 months. My last job was for government in Canada and I was harassed by management, and deemed a threat to the building. Why? Someone complained I cough. I’ve been coughing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 108

lilmslady 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:42

cough on her stuff.... bet she'd shut the **** up then

PrincessCastiel 27

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:45

How disruptive OP! Can't you die any quieter? I kid, I would of been a bit pissed with her.

Comments

lilmslady 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:42

cough on her stuff.... bet she'd shut the **** up then

elibel 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 2:24

If it's too bad just take the day off OP and get some rest.

juicydroppop 6

Sunday 26 January 2014 3:44

Then when OPs coworker gets sick file a complaint.

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 27 January 2014 10:34

Start coughing on her stuff like Elain did. I bet it'll turn out just like the Seinfield episode...

PrincessCastiel 27

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:45

How disruptive OP! Can't you die any quieter? I kid, I would of been a bit pissed with her.

josiemorehouse 12

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:29

It's 'would have' not 'would of'. At least use proper grammar. You're trying to say would've, which is a contraction of would and have. 'Would of' just doesn't make sense. And I would've been pissed too. OP's coworker sounds like a total bitch.

expectcriticism 13

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:38

go be a grammar nazi somewhere else please and thank you

amoredeniro 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:47

So do you #45.

josiemorehouse 12

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:48

Yes, but I'm a grammatically correct bitch, #49!! :)

amoredeniro 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:53

I'm glad you're well aware.

SarMarJo 17

Sunday 26 January 2014 6:37

My aunt has respiratory issues and she had this exact same issue! When she was told about the complaint she said,"Sorry, I'll just go die in the closet." And then a week later the bitchy coworker got sick. It was great. @45 and/or 50, I don't think I would be proud of being that kind of bitch.

xx000o 27

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:18

#45 Are you related to the woman that complained on him?

Bano360 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:31

#45 your a bitch. I would of guessed your a bitch. Their is to many bitches like you ;)

Ihavegas 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:36

*you're *you're *there

Traitoro 9

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:48

I feel like he made those mistakes on purpose to annoy the grammar nazi.

gmc_blossom 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:10

@50 If there's one thing I find to be more annoying than a sentence using poor grammar, is someone who just has to be "that guy" and correct them. Especially when it's something as minor as the easily made mistake of "would've" versus "would of." Try removing your head out of your ass and practise some common courtesy towards people when they don't have as excellent English abilities as you do. Just grit your teeth and move on if it really bothers you THAT much.

josiemorehouse 12

Sunday 26 January 2014 18:07

Well, since I seem to now be the 'lowest of the low' in the FML kingdom, I would like to offer my apologies for pissing off the world with my grammar attack. I do think it's funny and hypocritical that someone can call a person a bitch, stupid, and a million other derogatory names and tell them they deserve to be treated like crap and that is acceptable, but make one correction to someone's grammar and it's the end of the world. Oh well, live and learn.

fakedsincerity 32

Sunday 26 January 2014 18:54

Calm down #45. The Anal Grammar police is over there.

hashshim 23

Sunday 26 January 2014 20:05

#83 That's a run on sentence at the end. So much for the master grammarian.

Bano360 25

Monday 27 January 2014 12:29

#75 gets it

sohigh10 34

Tuesday 4 March 2014 2:52

I actually agree with you.. would of is a whole new level of stupidity.. the difference between then and than is understandable, your you're is just lazy, but would of..

Ihavegas 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:45

infect her

darwinism 30

Sunday 26 January 2014 3:15

You have gas, look like The Joker, and want to infect someone? Batman stopped you from doing it once, he can stop you again!

Ihavegas 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:32

ben affleck is the new batman. who's going to stop me now?!

TheElBurrrito 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:46

File a complaint stating she isn't loud enough. That'll definitely throw them off.

coried91 28

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:48

Hopefully your boss is nice and will just push it aside. Karma will nip your coworker in the ass in due time.

koalabear_55 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:54

That's horrible! Not only do you have to go to work feeling like utter shit, but u have to deal with a complete bitch. Hopefully your boss understands your situation and if not FYL OP. Feel better soon!

JMichael 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:55

Tell her to kiss the sickest part of your ass.

coried91 28

Sunday 26 January 2014 1:58

I'm just imagining her going up to her coworker and saying "Hey bitch, kiss my asshole!" just because you said sickest part. I imagine that would get her sick quickly. My mind takes me to scary places.