Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by...

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 402

You deserved it 47 553

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Same thing different taste

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 503

You deserved it 4 030

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 114

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 515

You deserved it 29 621

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 188

You deserved it 9 737

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 443

You deserved it 6 313

By tara22 - 27/04/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 159

You deserved it 6 300

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 699

You deserved it 6 000

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 946

You deserved it 6 528

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 644

Fop 6

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:38

YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?

hockeyfml555 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 16:38

good job moron

Comments

molitov 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 23:08

that's my reaction when someone jumps out... weird that he would slap n not punch... strange male reflex

dyingtolive77 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 23:57

but he's from france so it makes sense

Everlost 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 23:47

this is neither funny or a fml, this is just whatever.

Obfuscation 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 23:58

Call it foreplay

l33tm0nk3y 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 0:07

Heh, imagine how your boyfriend must feel!

suraj_fml 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 0:28

LMFAO!!!

jonny2x4 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 1:30

Apparently you fail as a female ninja. Maybe you want to try working on your succubus skills instead. Don't know what a succubus is? Google it.

Stephai 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 2:49

Monster in the closet! Slap it!

Satans_Taint 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 3:48

YDI for being a retard

Guairdean 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 4:50

The first time I met my wife was when a friend startled me and I punched her in the jaw and broke her necklace. We have two daughters and two grandsons. We're also still very much in love.