Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
amykillswitch 0
hahahah i do this all the time. most of the time i just tell them i have to use the bathroom and ask if its cool to keep talking while i go. no one really cares in my experience.
fely_fml 0
ur stupid!
omglyktotally78 0
The FML is kind of missing a part and therefore FAILED!
mattmag 0
Try to be more clear. I had to read that a couple of times until I understood that your mother is not a man.
iDontFail_xD 0
Uhhh, There's something called MUTE, you should try pressing on that button sometime soon.
Amkii 0
Ha! Ew.
elmundox 0
I do that all the time! Besides, it's really easy to notice the echo
PureGold 0
When moderating FMLs, some you read sound really stupid and vague, or like they're written by really clueless people who don't have any real problems. So you click "NO" and they don't make it onto the site. This FML should have been one of them...I'm REALLY wondering how it made it through the filters. :/ And that's gross, YDI.
yarbitchyar 0
uh...ok...apparantly both of you are immature if you can't even accept that everyone goes to the bathroom
Xero3g 5
I do this all the time. Actually I make a point to mention it.