Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from....

By anonymus - 18/8/2009 16:33 - United States

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

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Miscellaneous

Instadrama

Nice neighborhood

Hello everyone!

By Harry - 13/5/2014 22:37 - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

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By Rachel - 12/2/2016 06:26 - United States - Burton

Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML

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By minissaussette - 8/4/2016 23:39 - France - Cergy

Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML

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By wtf - 29/11/2010 16:05 - United States

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

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By retail hell - 12/7/2015 13:11 - United States - Waterbury

Today, a customer berated me and told me to stop whining because I have to work on the weekend. What did I do to deserve this? I said, "Hi, how are you doing today?" FML

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/9/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

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By purrykitty - 23/4/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

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By Mom - 25/7/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

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By dylanhollis - 17/1/2014 12:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

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By Annonymous - 17/12/2010 02:28

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

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By justhelpful - 2/7/2012 17:44 - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

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By worriedman - 3/7/2015 15:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

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By fiendishkitty - 20/9/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

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By Crazy Mom - 10/6/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

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By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/8/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML

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By daddysboy123 - 6/8/2009 15:40 - United States

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

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By Rachel - 2/2/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/3/2016 08:49 - United States - Crestview

Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML

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By knolan - 20/7/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

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By lizzardbreath - 31/3/2009 10:44 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

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By dumped - 5/6/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/7/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

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By DormHater - 23/8/2010 23:09 - United States

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

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By RENThead - 13/9/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 16:00

Cancel Student Debt

Today, I paid $800.00 towards my student loans. That was the minimum payment. FML

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By -___- - 29/9/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

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By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

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By mybmw - 14/10/2009 10:39 - United States

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

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By mrmatt008 - 17/7/2009 12:07 - France

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

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By Don'tjudgeabook - 5/4/2017 20:00

Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML

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By popemichael - 19/6/2009 22:48 - United States

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

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By even axe would smell better - 4/2/2014 18:55 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/1/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

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By BaconGirl - 8/7/2016 06:00

Today, it has been my lifelong dream to work with animals. My dream sorta came true. I now work at the slaughterhouse. FML

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By notliked - 1/10/2009 10:33 - United States

Today, on facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to "How can Dan have over 500 facebook friends? Nobody even likes him" there were 42 likes, and twenty comments that said "agreed." FML

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By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

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Top comments

By curryndricegirll | 0

#497437 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:11

at least you didn't make fun of it. if anything, i hope she would feel better since you called her speech beautiful. i mean i know it's still awful, but it's a little better

By AndelleRae | 9

#497439 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:11

That does suck, but the way this is worded implies that the woman is a stranger. How were you to know she had a stroke?

I don't think it's an FML or a YDI. Just kind of embarrassing.

Comments

By paperfox_fml | 0

#497432 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:09

FIRST AGAIN!

DoomJeff91 | 2

#497549 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:48

That's great son. We were all wishing you the best of luck. Mom and Aunt Caroline made you a cake with a big #1 for our big #1. Lots of love from the family. Good luck with tomorrow!

suaveneanderthal | 0

#497583 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 1:05

haha how mad can you get at someone for not knowing? he wasn't bashing her he was complimenting her! that sucks for the op FYL indeed

neonokku | 0

#497819 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:37

not that bad

KiSsKiZzy | 0

#500989 - Thursday 20 August 2009 6:36

Haha bitches I'm #32!!!! I'd like to thank all the baby dicks in the world!! (Not that I am 1)

KiSsKiZzy | 0

#525923 - Sunday 30 August 2009 7:14

Did you get her#?

GhostDuck | 30

#3873765 - Thursday 12 January 2012 22:01

NO ONE CARES!

GhostDuck | 30

#3873770 - Thursday 12 January 2012 22:02

... you're number 63...

By americayay | 0

#497436 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:11

Well, at least she found someone who thinks her disability is sexy. Even if he is a bit creepy.

arsewipe92 | 0

#508943 - Sunday 23 August 2009 7:52

Lol, my sentiments exactly!

By curryndricegirll | 0

#497437 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:11

at least you didn't make fun of it. if anything, i hope she would feel better since you called her speech beautiful. i mean i know it's still awful, but it's a little better

were_giraffe | 2

#497599 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 1:14

that's what i was thinking.
at least you saw her trait as beautiful

sometimes people need to remember beauty is in everyone

ashleyb104 | 0

#2412104 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 23:33

I thought the same thing

ronzi | 15

#6208340 - Saturday 21 February 2015 4:39

#3 very well said ??

By AndelleRae | 9

#497439 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:11

That does suck, but the way this is worded implies that the woman is a stranger. How were you to know she had a stroke?

I don't think it's an FML or a YDI. Just kind of embarrassing.

SupKev | 0

#1822394 - Friday 10 December 2010 9:42

are you a guy or a girl?

-_-

ermkrmr | 0

#2140516 - Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:42

she's obviously a girl...

chlorinegreen | 27

#2713488 - Sunday 19 June 2011 5:21

that was just rude and uncalled for. of course she's a girl. how would you feel if someone questioned your gender? that's rude.

intothecrypt | 3

#3622045 - Wednesday 23 November 2011 0:09

No need to be a dick to either. I'm a guy with long hair and get mistaken for a girl a lot, but in this case it is not obvious.

By ShadowNine | 0

#497444 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:13

Damn FYI (:

By volleyballgirl16 | 0

#497448 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:14

embarrasing but it was a compliment so....
her disability is beautiful whats wrong with that

By tick_tock | 0

#497458 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:17

Don't kick yourself about it too much, you didn't know. Hey, at least you said it was beautiful!

By CryingHowls | 0

#497466 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:19

you may have called her accent beautiful
which might make her feel better

but more likely than not, she took it sarcastically. making it worse =p

curryndricegirll | 0

#498221 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 5:52

wow. i never thought of it like that. it makes more sense now, that she got offended

By crazy_cat_lady24 | 0

#497476 - Wednesday 19 August 2009 0:24

Oof that must have been awkward. Don't be too hard on yourself, there was no way for you to know, you were just trying to be nice. The lady will probably understand later on.