Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
noisebox 1
As long as you don't start getting excited about the idea of other guys jerking off, or you jerking them off because you then run the risk of becoming a poofter!
GrahamWilliams 0
You are so weird!!!
davek 36
Both, YDI, and I facepalmed so hard my hand went through the wall behind me.
JaysonYMCMB 1
wat does narcisstic mean?
scadeypants 2
Narcissistic. I do it. It's not my fault that no one is as sexy as me... But seriously, it's hot. Don't knock it until you've tried it.
Wvaddour 0
It means u are gay bc u like playing with dick and seeing yourself play with dick probably imagining u are doing it to another guy
Rick_E_Fresh 0
Both
nixster 3
I think it's actually pretty hot to watch yourself.. Plus, you get to see what you look like when other people see you ?
Jonaahhhh 12
I hope someone gets this reference: Hit the lights... It's boner time!
neander 8
pathetic