Intimacy and Transportation: Today, I experienced the old joke about recognising women by... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/03/2018 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I experienced the old joke about recognising women by their shoes sticking out of the driver and passenger windows. It was my mother's shoes in my mother's car, but the guy happily plowing her on top of the hand-brake was not my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 601

You deserved it 315

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Top comments

DraftHail614 17

Friday 30 March 2018 5:06

The idea of commitment is just gone at this point. Let your dad know. He doesn't deserve that kind of bs.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 30 March 2018 5:13

Plowed on top of the hand-brake? She’s gonna be sore tomorrow, and not just in the fun muffin!

Comments

DraftHail614 17

Friday 30 March 2018 5:06

The idea of commitment is just gone at this point. Let your dad know. He doesn't deserve that kind of bs.

QueenAfrodite 8

Friday 27 July 2018 19:52

Lol dude it could be an open marriage. Dad could totally be aware lol. Time to stop being a child and understand that relationships have many different dynamics. Not everyone is in a monogamous marriage.

DraftHail614 17

Friday 27 July 2018 20:03

Ah yes. Finding an excuse to sleep around are we? Bud, it isn't childish to think that most relationships are like that. Also, you'd think that that'd be something to mention to OP. Want to have multiple partners? Cool. I mean polyamory is just a label to use so you have an excuse to have multiple partners without being called a hoe. But yes. I'm most definitely the child.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 30 March 2018 5:13

Plowed on top of the hand-brake? She’s gonna be sore tomorrow, and not just in the fun muffin!

Suzi_d16 27

Saturday 22 May 2021 1:26

Haha fun muffin. Love it.

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Friday 30 March 2018 7:35

Were they at least wearing a seatbelt? Got to be safe no matter what activity you do in your vehicle.

Donut_Wizard 23

Friday 30 March 2018 8:08

Who else, but Quagmire?

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 30 March 2018 14:45

His penis must be really small and needed to use the handbrake as a "toy".

kazekai8 11

Friday 30 March 2018 21:27

: /

TyePie 6

Thursday 5 April 2018 11:12

Maybe she was just helping out with making one of those Fake Taxi videos.

QueenAfrodite 8

Friday 27 July 2018 19:51

Lol. Maybe they have an open marriage and didn’t tell you. Lmmfao. Go Mom!!!!!! Haaaaaaaaaa

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The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 298

You deserved it 1 134

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 139

You deserved it 4 509

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 12 281

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 008

You deserved it 47 417

Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 128

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 1 538

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 368

You deserved it 3 580