By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 738
You deserved it 37 931

Same thing different taste

Top comments

bnutts 4

Well. Use your other arm, problem solved.

Wow..if you can actually see a difference it's time to get a girlfriend or at least a hobby..


bnutts 4

Well. Use your other arm, problem solved.

I'm an artist, so I can act like the carpel tunnel is from drawing.

n_epic_fail 14

Is your girlfriend still withholding sex until you can enter her flacid?...

It's like a whole different person too. Like "who is this stranger?"

How do you think us metal guitarists feel?!

Morgannnnuhhh 1

This guy must suffer from CMD. (chronic ************ disorder) or just FL. Forever alone.

shanemaximo 7

You must really beat the hell outta that thing to make the difference that noticeable.

Poked my head in to see exactly how long it took for the first 'switch hands' comment to show up...... Internet, you make me proud.

103- Wouldn't "Forever Alone" be FA and not FL?

juicystar777 4

dude. you act like the first thing somebody thinks about when they see you is masturbation.

RedMosquito 4

Take your watch off. Lessening the weight will build leaner muscles. ;)

I don't get why this is thumbed up? It's not funny -.-

CursedSilent 1

Lol, you may have poked your head in but that's clearly something OP has missed out on.

AceArctic 4

120 - I know I do. OP really tickles my peaches.

ImAnInsomniac 3

sorry but this has to be fake the only muscle you use when masturbating, or the second muscle you use lol, is in your hand. squeeze your thumb against your hand and feel the muscle that pops that's how you know which side you ********** with. the rest is cardio. this fml is bs

lol, who else is imagining OP looking like a hermit crab, with one arm scrawny and the other one built like Schwarzenegger's? :D

emmanizzer 6

I thought the stranger was when you sat on your hand until it became numb and then masturbated!

That's why I use my left hand, even though I'm right handed. It balances it out.

Inediblepeaches 15
cc_the_beast 6

Like when Quagmire discovered Internet ****?

ledstratdak 0

Did any one else think of that one Johnny Bravo episode?

Wow..if you can actually see a difference it's time to get a girlfriend or at least a hobby..

I think this FML was submitted by my brother.

truegirl21 2

Really because if so that's so funny!!

kurlyfries222 0

I agree, way too much masturbation going on!

bfsd42 20

30, don't you know that thread jacking is just plain rude.

I probably do it more frequently than OP, but I only last 3 minutes with my hands. I will never get muscles.

RedPillSucks 31

Is it that one Popeye looking arm?

That took years to accomplish... Have some pride!

borkchop1992 15

Masturbation causes blindness so you should watch out

borkchop1992 15

Im obviously not being serious how ridiculous would that be

16 Its a rumor that was created to keep kids from masterbating. There is some science to back the theory but its proven that it really doesn't affect anything.

borkchop1992 15

I would definately not be able to use this site if it was true

GoW_Chick 14

Oh come on guys it also causes hairy palms, and everytime you ********** an angel crys and a kitten dies, true story.

bizarre_ftw 21

40 - is that why i have to get a new kitten every day? i just thought i had bad luck i switched to birds, problem solved ^_^

KiddNYC1O 20

When I ********** and ejaculate I feel like a sour patch candy but in reverse.

perdix 29

Bullshit! Medical science has shown this to be a myth! It merely causes hairy palms.

Not just palms, Chewbacca is actually human with a bit too much time on his hands.

beasting 0

No, it is true. To the people don't know what aiming is

1crabbygirl 10

If only I still had my eyesight i could read your clever comment.

bubuguzman 0