Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML
Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML
Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!
doctorhook86 25
I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.
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Comments (141)
joanniejore 7
The only time I have ever heard of something similar is in the movie American Psycho with Christian Bale. There's a scene where he's having a three way, and keeps checking himself out in the mirror. Just saying.
kitties_fml 12
It depends--are you bisexual? I am & I gotta say, my own delightful ******* and slender hourglass figure definitely turn me on.
azk3000 9
Go on. Oh, that? Ignore that, that's just a marker I put in my pocket...
angela11112334 0
I wish I had a dick to ********** either way (; Lmfao jk
bubo_fml 11
I'd be more concerned about the post fapping delimma. Clean off a spunky mirror or throw away a soggy **** pic...
jizzinyourpants 4
I thought I was the only one :-/
Jzigzags 4
uhhh. How is this an FML exactly?
CeltHound 14
Pathetic!!!!!!!!!
Frooo 6
I did that too, it's not really pathetic, you just try at least once. I love(not) how people on here are judging someone based on one single sentence.
hateevryone 15
I wouldn't even want to look at myself while masturbating.
Complaining 13
It's more common than it seems.