Crank

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 04:11 - United States - Houston

Spicy
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 639
You deserved it 21 427

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Watch porn and then you'll be in an orgy. No more forever alone

That happens to me too :( except I AM a little bitch. Probably why I'm lonely..

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Watch porn and then you'll be in an orgy. No more forever alone

What a tear jerker...

Are you Indian and an astrophysicist by any chance?

This makes me sad. Lots of lonely people out there

Watching porn can be hard. A lot of the time, it just fills me with envy & desire for physical contact. - I have a man, & it will still make me feel a similar way. Porn can make anyone alone, feel pretty fucking lonely.

Time to get a girl/boyfriend...trust me, it's not that difficult. There are many other lonely people out there.

It is sometimes "that difficult" depending on someone's circumstances.

A lot of people are alone for good reason. Besides, those people desperate for a S/O can be spotted from a mile away, anyone worth being with would do well to stay far away from a pathetic lump of self-pity who just wants SOMEONE. Fuck that. Learn to be happy on your own, work on yourself to the point where you're truly content in life, and love will eventually work its way to you. That, or some good noo-noo. Both work fine. OP, no shame in pleasuring yourself! I was in a near-sexless relationship for two years, you definitely learn to be your own best friend that way, and I'll say even now in my new "sexually healthy" relationship, a little self-love is definitely in order now and then. Keep that chin up :)

#2 I don't believe OP needs a new boyfriend/girlfriend immediately, arguably that could make things worse. If anything I'd say that they need to go out and socialize (regardless of reason for being so isolated), and become happy with their own self first. Then maybe look for someone to have sex with.

yes there are many other lonely people out there I am one of those people lol

Lol I don't need a damn relationship to keep me happy..it's all a bunch of bullshit and drama

That happens to me too :( except I AM a little bitch. Probably why I'm lonely..

Don't be so HARD on yourself. =P

Well I'm a huge douche and don't seem to have an issue finding a relationship maybe it's different for guys?

Way to go, 42. Douchebagery is the new "nice".

It pretty much is, girls like to be challenged in witty, sarcastic conversation and they like guys with confidence who banter with them but also still hold open doors and pay for their dates and I bring all that to the table :)

It's a shame. The assholes are always the ones who never have trouble with women, while the nice guys are the ones who can't get a date, and so women think that all men are assholes, when really it's just the guys they've been dating that are assholes and the guys they've been ignoring that are nice. But I think the nice guys are partly to blame for this conundrum because they tend to not put themselves out there and then wonder why they can't get a date. I'm speaking in general terms, of course. Don't reply to me and say, "I'm a nice guy. I put myself out there/ have a girlfriend." Yeah, I know, it's not always what I described, but often it is.

I like how both nice guys and asshole guys are to blame for your dating conundrum yet you never said anything about women? I mean I agree with what you're saying for the most part but there must be more than one sex at fault here yea?

Of course. I said that nice guys are "partly" to blame. Women need to stop overlooking men who aren't handsome or cool. Many women don't overlook nice guys like that, but often it's not until after they've dated assholes that they wise up. And yes, I'm talking about myself here.

And, perhaps, some nice guys should stop pining after beautiful snobs and instead try to win the heart of a more humble (and thus more attainable) lady. Maybe that's OP's problem.

53- Why be with someone you aren't attracted to? I couldn't bring muself to have an intimate relationship with an unattractive guy, there are too many good-looking people out there to settle for someone you don't find sexually appealing. Looks certainly aren't everything, but without sexual attraction, intimacy is going to be lukewarm at best. It's a great thing that everyone has different taste, because what one might find ugly, another might totally be in to. Don't persecute people for passing over someone who doesn't get their motor running :(

I didn't find my boyfriend attractive when I first met him, but now that I'm in love with him, I wonder why I ever thought he was anything less than dashing. I'm not saying people should date people who make them gag just by looking at them. I just think that both men and women would find love a whole lot easier if they were more open to dating nice people who aren't what they would typically consider attractive. Then, as you discover the inner beauty of a person, you begin to see the outer beauty that isn't immediately apparent. And I think that criticizing on FML is hardly persecution.

Don't be hard on your self I think your quite attractive you'll find someone.

I agree with you, most people overlook getting to know someone just because their looks aren't up to their standards.

you? lonely? how the hell lol

84 - The "Hit on Every Girl" stage died a long time ago.

I wanted to think of something funny to say but I couldn't. That's rough man. Keep your chin up, you will find that lucky someone soon enough.

You don't know that. Maybe he will die alone left in some dumpster..

Or maybe he'll die of a heartattack due to the extreme excitement of a dumpster orgy.

That must be a crying shame for you.

OP needs less friction. Use lube.

First time in a while that I've seen Pleonasm buried

wow,that`s sad. but there are many ways to meet new people, you just have to try!

OP, get out there, and show the world you are there! That will increase the chance of you not being lonely! Remember, never shooting is always missing!

Yeah, start shooting! That will get you some atttention!

Except the problem is OP has been shooting (off) the wrong way this whole time!

There has to be some kind of "Sobbing-Bitches-During-Masturbation Anonymous", right? Find your local SBDMA chapter, and go attend some meetings. It'll make you feel better just knowing that there are other guys just like you.

I am always willing to give a warm welcome to new members; don't hesitate guys!

The club's always willing to give a helping hand. Don't knock until you've tried it, it's gotten me through some hard times.

I bet they don't do handshakes in that organization.

That club has a "secret" handshake.

Latching onto someone to fill some void probably won't solve anything. Maybe try and get comfy with yourself first

11 is probably saying that OP has problems being alone cuz they aren't comfortable with themself so they feel like they need to "fill the void" with someone else

Wtf OP, you have problems that need sorting.