Intimacy: Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband....

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 5 589

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Same thing different taste

By erjazo - 31/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 272

You deserved it 6 852

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 505

You deserved it 6 853

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 351

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 065

You deserved it 50 978

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 49 709

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 4 729

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 067

You deserved it 7 760

By Anonymous - 25/02/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 066

You deserved it 61 348

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 147

You deserved it 6 907

nunn245 10

Monday 24 November 2014 0:12

I can now say I've heard that phrase in the literal sense

devildog562 33

Monday 24 November 2014 0:12

Do it yourself. Sounds like his **** is chicken.

Comments

demonfacee 14

Monday 24 November 2014 4:34

I'm assuming he was watching football or something. That's when you go solo.

havok87 11

Monday 24 November 2014 4:38

Time to get it somewhere else

djstiv3 15

Monday 24 November 2014 4:42

wow flat out asking for his dick and thats his response? hmm dude may possibly be gay marry me woman!!

limabeans101029 20

Monday 24 November 2014 22:55

...Or maybe he just didn't feel like having sex at that particular moment? Not everyone is constantly horny

xRiverSongx 17

Monday 24 November 2014 5:12

I think you two should have a chat..

jeanyrios 10

Monday 24 November 2014 5:50

Mine did that too but in a more serious scenario. My punishment to him for an entire years was that he needed to be the one to take the initiative. After that he didn't dared turn down my sexual advances.

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 24 November 2014 6:06

Next time he wants sex "If only I gave a ****"

sweetnsourrr 11

Monday 24 November 2014 6:35

Well, he was watching a show.....what did you expect? XD

edmunson 22

Monday 24 November 2014 6:42

Doesn't matter if he was in the mood or not, if he needs to be that rude he should not give a **** far, far away from his wife...or ex-wife in my humble opinion.