Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the...

By justonce - United States - Williamstown

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

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Love

Walk on the wild side

Season finale

And today, on Dr Phil…

By Noname - United States

Today, I got a 31% on a Chinese test at school. I moved here to New Jersey from China two months ago. FML

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By notsogood - United States

Snoozefest

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

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By ulisha5 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

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By talt

Today, I went to the hospital for taking to many anxiety meds cause of a panic attack over my finals. They decided the best way to fix this will be to involuntarily commit me to psychiatric treatment for 72 hours... missing all my finals. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, a mad woman squirted me with a water gun filled with paint as we were leaving the church where I just married my husband. As I was staring at this mad bitch in my ruined dress, wondering why she would do something so horrible, she ran off crying and shouting, "Sorry wrong wedding!" FML

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By helpless_soul - United States

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gorham

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

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By hitchcock2013 - United States - Taylor

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

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By KatieElizabeth - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Aurora

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

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By RootalyTootToot

Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML

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By Annonymous - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

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By Jailbird - United States - Redmond

Today, I took a group of teens with me to hang up posters for our church's yard sale. Because it's summer, we went out at dusk to beat the heat. Someone called the cops on us, and we were arrested for "gang activity". FML

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By rawkdinosawr - United Kingdom

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

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By gotta_respond - United States - Piscataway

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

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By Chris - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

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By noname - United States

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

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By fittingroompotty - United States

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Noblesville

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

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By footscratching - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Tehachapi

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

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By BadDad - United States - San Diego

Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

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By randomguy - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

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By badizzle

Helmut Newton strikes back

Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

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By alison89430 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

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By Boner Ben

Today, I found out that the play I'm doing requires me to strip naked and get an erection for a few scenes. It didn’t come up in rehearsal and the play starts in 2 days. I'm not sure how to tell my family who are coming from out of town that my first role involves me playing with my boner. FML

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By ugly5402 - United States

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

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By Starving Ultimatum - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Manchester

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

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By Dino - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

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By leahrb - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

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By jobless - United States - San Francisco

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

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Top comments

By Sea_shelle | 12

#5687287 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

What a small, strange world.

By EpicSquishii | 21

#5687301 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:15

The more you look at it, the more you'll be desensitized to it. Especially if it's the same exact picture every single time you have to see it. Trust me

COMMENTS

By Sea_shelle | 12

#5687287 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

What a small, strange world.

barbsillvy | 10

#5687311 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:21

Who would understand how life works? I'm sorry OP

Kamon97 | 23

#5687789 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 17:02

I don't get it though if the guy fell in love with her why did he leave her? There has to be more to this story I hope we get a response from OP

By AzraelSonOfSatan | 7

#5687288 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

Write all over the banners so they have to take them down.

shutupmichaela | 18

#5687297 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:12

they'd just put up new ones??

AzraelSonOfSatan | 7

#5687308 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:20

That is true... Sorry, I didn't think of that factor. They don't do anything like that around where I'm from in Canada.

jw90 | 18

#5687331 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:36

Meanwhile in Canada. "Oh I see someone drew on this poster of this handsome man. I think he needs glasses to go with that mustache."

Awahso | 25

#5687499 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:34

Erm; they don't use faces in Canadian advertisements?

TheDrifter | 23

#5688190 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 22:19

They do. We just draw more features on them instead of taking them down.

By BreynHope | 11

#5687289 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

Yikes, that really sucks, OP. Maybe it's fate and something good is about to happen? :)

By mackdeezy | 21

#5687290 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

This is why I say the world is fucked. Good things happen to asshats and bad things.... well, you get the idea

NoMore_CoolNames | 14

#5687574 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:37

How do you know he's an asshat?

By GoddessOfCookies | 14

#5687291 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:08

I do not see the big deal...
But then again I've never had a relationship...

GoddessOfCookies | 14

#5688783 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 8:12

I still don't see it...

anitriarose | 5

#5689047 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 14:21

78 - get into a relationship, get your heart broken. then you'll see how painful it is.

By Rahii_nami | 10

#5687292 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:08

:o sucks :o

nnnope | 26

#5687395 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:27

:o there's a button for that. :o

vipirius | 18

#5687427 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:02

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5687534 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:05

apparently 41, the fml community does not agree with your critque.

Mossears133 | 15

#5688451 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 1:06

It's necessity is getting old.

By shutupmichaela | 18

#5687296 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:11

time to change schools!

eddeeezzyy | 19

#5687385 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:15

Fuck that shit. If I was in OP's shoes, I'd take one look at that poster and be like "fuck that bitch"! *starts dancing*

Neyuu | 18

#5689125 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 15:45

I'm not saying it was drugs, but it was drugs.

By BigJazz | 7

#5687298 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:13

Throw a piece of food at his poster every day when you finish lunch. Might make you feel a little better? Haha

By DinosaurTacoTime | 18

#5687300 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:14

Just don't look at the banner and spend as little time as possible on the site. Its not an easy fix but its something.

By EpicSquishii | 21

#5687301 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:15

The more you look at it, the more you'll be desensitized to it. Especially if it's the same exact picture every single time you have to see it. Trust me

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5687538 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:08

every day, pick out a new flaw. His forehead is too big ot smile is obvoiusly forced or something. Eventually, he will become hideous and youll wonder why you were so facinated to begin with.