Love: Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the...

By justonce - United States - Williamstown

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

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Love

Mother of the year

Send virtual hugs

Nice guy DESTROYED by FACTS and LOGIC

By uninvited - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

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By janie - 10/1/2021 17:01

Mind your own business

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

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By arghhh - United States

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

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By rosie21030 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I was the bridesmaid for my dad and my stepmum's wedding. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped and fell over my high heels, hit my head on the armrest of a wooden chair on the way down, and passed out. I now have a concussion and a broken ankle. The wedding went on without me. FML

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By robinhoood - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

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By non believer - United States

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

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By Acu7519

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

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By vsshopper - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

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By kp - United States

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

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By Erik - 13/3/2021 11:00 - Netherlands

WHERE IS IT?

Today, after days of torture, I finally found out where the annoying fire alarm with empty batteries was hidden. The previous house owners had it hidden behind the top board of a wall cabinet. FML

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By SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

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By Anonymous - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

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By unlucky22

Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By N1ch0la1 - South Africa

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

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By blaahh - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML

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By mynameisnotdrew - United States

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

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By holy - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

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By NoTypeOfExercise - United States - Encino

Today, my husband told me I couldn't go to my morning yoga class, because he needed to leave for work at 7:30 am sharp, and I wouldn't be back in time to watch our son. It's 8:05 am and he still hasn't left for work. FML

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By fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc - Denmark - Herning

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

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By Holy Testacles - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

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By bruisedego31 - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

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By brighteyes - United States

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/3/2021 11:01

Circular logic

Today, I was told I was disrespectful for letting a parent know that her son was disrespecting adults. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

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By Me - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

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By adopted - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

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By ChocoMilkManG - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

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By Spelit - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

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By You're Not a Wizard

Today, I earned the nickname of "Harry Potter" for all the wrong reasons. I got locked in a storage cupboard for most of my shift, and couldn't get out. FML

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By maddiee. - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

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By TaffyMichele - United States - La Verne

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

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By Niquesha - United States

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2020 05:04

Liquid fun

Today, after 25 years, I quit drinking. It wasn’t worth it. My life and everyone around me still sucked. So I started up again. FML

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By Oops - United States - Augusta

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

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By Electric Eddy

Today, I got up at 2:30 a.m. to catch an early flight home. I was tired and drowsy and took a quick shower to wake me up. Two minutes in, the water turned scalding hot on all settings. I ended up having to rinse my hair with bottles of sparkling water from the hotel minibar. FML

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Top comments

By Sea_shelle | 12

#5687287 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

What a small, strange world.

By EpicSquishii | 21

#5687301 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:15

The more you look at it, the more you'll be desensitized to it. Especially if it's the same exact picture every single time you have to see it. Trust me

COMMENTS

By Sea_shelle | 12

#5687287 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

What a small, strange world.

barbsillvy | 10

#5687311 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:21

Who would understand how life works? I'm sorry OP

Kamon97 | 23

#5687789 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 17:02

I don't get it though if the guy fell in love with her why did he leave her? There has to be more to this story I hope we get a response from OP

By AzraelSonOfSatan | 7

#5687288 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

Write all over the banners so they have to take them down.

shutupmichaela | 18

#5687297 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:12

they'd just put up new ones??

AzraelSonOfSatan | 7

#5687308 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:20

That is true... Sorry, I didn't think of that factor. They don't do anything like that around where I'm from in Canada.

jw90 | 18

#5687331 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:36

Meanwhile in Canada. "Oh I see someone drew on this poster of this handsome man. I think he needs glasses to go with that mustache."

Awahso | 25

#5687499 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:34

Erm; they don't use faces in Canadian advertisements?

TheDrifter | 23

#5688190 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 22:19

They do. We just draw more features on them instead of taking them down.

By BreynHope | 11

#5687289 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

Yikes, that really sucks, OP. Maybe it's fate and something good is about to happen? :)

By mackdeezy | 21

#5687290 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:07

This is why I say the world is fucked. Good things happen to asshats and bad things.... well, you get the idea

NoMore_CoolNames | 14

#5687574 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:37

How do you know he's an asshat?

By GoddessOfCookies | 14

#5687291 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:08

I do not see the big deal...
But then again I've never had a relationship...

GoddessOfCookies | 14

#5688783 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 8:12

I still don't see it...

anitriarose | 5

#5689047 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 14:21

78 - get into a relationship, get your heart broken. then you'll see how painful it is.

By Rahii_nami | 10

#5687292 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:08

:o sucks :o

nnnope | 26

#5687395 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:27

:o there's a button for that. :o

vipirius | 18

#5687427 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5687534 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:05

apparently 41, the fml community does not agree with your critque.

Mossears133 | 15

#5688451 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 1:06

It's necessity is getting old.

By shutupmichaela | 18

#5687296 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:11

time to change schools!

eddeeezzyy | 19

#5687385 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:15

Fuck that shit. If I was in OP's shoes, I'd take one look at that poster and be like "fuck that bitch"! *starts dancing*

Neyuu | 18

#5689125 - Wednesday 25 September 2013 15:45

I'm not saying it was drugs, but it was drugs.

By BigJazz | 7

#5687298 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:13

Throw a piece of food at his poster every day when you finish lunch. Might make you feel a little better? Haha

By DinosaurTacoTime | 18

#5687300 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:14

Just don't look at the banner and spend as little time as possible on the site. Its not an easy fix but its something.

By EpicSquishii | 21

#5687301 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 8:15

The more you look at it, the more you'll be desensitized to it. Especially if it's the same exact picture every single time you have to see it. Trust me

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5687538 - Tuesday 24 September 2013 13:08

every day, pick out a new flaw. His forehead is too big ot smile is obvoiusly forced or something. Eventually, he will become hideous and youll wonder why you were so facinated to begin with.