By Zekrome - 05/05/2014 07:53 - Canada - Markham

Spicy
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 413
You deserved it 23 996

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Profanity isn't necessary, dammit. If this was a stranger then that seems like an inappropriate response either way. I don't really know how to vote this one

You heard 13, OP. Stop fucking cursing!

I've heard parents say that to their kids, and then wonder why the children have a problem with profanity.

can we all stop swearing for fuck sake!

Why the fuck is everyone swearing!

#13 is an idiot. Said "profanity isn't necessary, dammit" well isn't that profanity?

You are some genius.

Curses are profanity Hell,Damn, crap aren't curses

I think Clerks 2 has you beat for Beastiality... I mean interspecies erotica...

Do as they say not as they do. Really though OP if you can't say love animals without saying fuck eh.. you might want to reconsider your vocabulary.

Fuck that, profanity is a sentence enhancer!

That's the joke dumbass

Why the fuck are all you fuckin people swearing! Holy fuck

Actually they are! Profanity is any religious-based imprecatory word e.g. Hell, damn, Gorblimey, etc. ("Damn", by the way, is the sincere wish that the person or object be consigned to everlasting torment under the eternal displeasure of God.) Obscenity is any scatological or physiological-based imprecatory word, e.g. fuck, shit, dick, etc. Curses are any wish for misfortune to befall the target of one's imprecations. Words like crap and darn and heck are Bowdlerized "child-safe" versions of profanities and obscenities. In the context of the FML, of course, "fucking" is used as a verbal intensifier akin to "truly" or "dearly", only more obscene. If you don't know what "imprecation" and "imprecatory" mean, the dictionary is your friend and can expand your vocabulary to the point where "fucking" is not the only verbal intensifier you know!

126- If you think "heck" is "child safe"... You should probably know it was originally meant to be a cross between "hell" and "fuck."

Too long #126, won't read.

Oh those Freudian slips..

Unless OP actually enjoys fucking animals I'm not sure how that's a Freudian slip

I think that was the point of the joke

He loves his bitches...

Sorry just saw #4

Thanks #45 it was meant to be a joke. In all my years on the internet I have still yet to find a way to accurately portray my sarcasm through simple text..

Yeah, someone should invent some sarcasm mark which we can use at the end of our sentences.

I might just have to buy a new keyboard if that happens..

#82 husband and I thought the same thing. We decided that this face :/ At the end if a text means sarcasm for us. Really helps us anyway. Someone definitely should start a universal sign for sarcasm in text.

Fuck that, if they're too stupid to pick up on sarcasm they're too stupid to enjoy the joke.

My friend and I many years ago used to say "S" at the end of the sentence if it was sarcasm. Similar!

I'm sure they could figure out what you meant.

Yea, but I'm willing to bet OP's "i ride ponies" t-shirt didn't help the situation.

What about his T-shirt that reads: "I come here to get drunk and fuck bitches"?

I remember that shirt. That's the one that said "doggy style" on the back right? We need to take OP shopping for a new wardrobe. That'll clear up the misunderstandings.

Everybody loves fucking bitches. The difference is that you're more of a sausage dog type of person.

Well thats one awkward mix up of words

The kind of mix up that would end up in him staying away from my dog for awhile hah

I'm suprised no one has made a "doggy style" joke yet.

Those types of people get sent to the doghouse.

maybe someone will throw him a bone..

he can make his own

Slip of the tongue. Happens to everyone. Hope it worked out. FYL

thank you for this OP. its been 5 minutes,i still haven't stopped laughing.

I'm pretty sure they knew what you meant. It's ok OP.