Intimacy: Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different...

By Zekrome - 05/05/2014 07:53 - Canada - Markham

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 488

You deserved it 24 052

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Cats rule

By Respect101 - 26/06/2014 00:20 - United States - Alvin

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 27 642

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 547

You deserved it 5 912

By Anonymous - 10/01/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 089

You deserved it 9 615

Life imitates life

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 270

By -_- - 18/02/2012 00:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 4 085

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

Starved

By LoveMeMother - 20/09/2018 05:00

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 560

You deserved it 329

By SwAGkiLlS - 15/07/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 941

You deserved it 5 067

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 1 073

By familypet - 09/01/2016 03:09 - United States - Vista

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 1 792

SundayNightSix 23

Monday 5 May 2014 18:47

Oh those Freudian slips..

Amanyyyyyy 29

Monday 5 May 2014 18:46

Nice going, OP...

Comments

chrismrwilson 4

Monday 5 May 2014 21:17

well time for the walk of shame

FreeRunn3r 12

Monday 5 May 2014 21:18

heh funny.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 5 May 2014 21:58

I think your f*ck wasn't needed without it it would have worked out toward your favor

KingreX32 21

Monday 5 May 2014 22:16

not gonna lie OP i would have laughed at you.

thatrandomchick2 4

Monday 5 May 2014 22:21

Maybe he's really into that..and it wasn't a mess up.

WildJubeJube 16

Monday 5 May 2014 22:51

BAHAH no affence but that's pretty funny. I can relate to loving animals. :3

MattM95 16

Monday 5 May 2014 22:54

Don't worry op. We all have those moments...well not with those exact words but you get the point.

sanecatlady 13

Monday 5 May 2014 23:31

I hate hearing the eff word, I hate how other people can't seem to talk any more without using it, and thanks to this I hate it even more. And yet I'm on a site called FML, because I had to learn to tolerate it a bit or I'd lose my mind. And no, I was not raised by nuns. (I think I will make that my new catchphrase)