Obviously..

Wow really? We had no way of knowing that until you pointed it out.

* We

You don't say?

Yes, yes they do.

I wanna go to affair !

79 - Lol, your comment reminded me of the movie Grown Up's where the little girl misinterpreted what her dad said and was like "I wanna get chocolate wasted!" :D

Ditch the Bitch, dude. you'll be far happier

Then don't give her the gift if she dnt trust u and always jumps to conclusions like that. Or prove to her where the money went (show her the gift) and then take it back and spend the money on something you want

And then she'll feel like shit and turn it into an FML! xD

Why can't OP just tell her, "I bought you a birthday gift." He doesn't have to give her the gift.

Throw a band-aid on that gunshot wound. That should take care of the REAL problem.

Agreed. I would've been like "well, maybe I bought something nice for you and not some affair because you birthday is in a couple weeks you paranoid bitch?". I know many people cheat but I guess they'd be a tad more clever than to use money from a bank account they share with their partner...

A surprise new girlfriend

4- wouldn't that ruin the surprise? OP is in a lose-lose situation.

Except there's nothing to forgive him for.

Give her the present early and then she'll realize the error in her reaction.

you don't say?

Nahh this is a very good situation in which the OP has a great life.

Seriously if you have nothing better to say than 'sucks' or 'first' just shut up

Do you really think a woman would believe that...? I mean... C'mon... Seriously?

It's ironically sad that your saying this to a women's comment...

Or is it sadly ironic?

that's what smartphones are for.so you can work while you poop

9- I imagined the kitten in your picture asking that question, entertained myself for a second. :)

OP is an astronaut.

ASStronaut get it? Because poop? Ok I'll leave now

Almost as good a combination as orange juice concentrate and gasoline... OP's wife is the napalm of relationships.