Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, I found out my husband wasn’t really “working from home” in the evenings. He locks himself in his office until the late hours of the night, having intimate Skype sessions with his coworker. That explains why our joint bank account hasn’t seen a direct deposit this past month. FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Your wife must not trust you :/ Sorry OP
blcksocks 19
You work 24/7? When do you poop?
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Comments (100)
emmyl12 0
She must not trust u. Sorry
urMaster 0
I don't blame her.. Last year I dated a guy for 6months and then I found out he was married and had 2 kids.. Maybe she had a bad experience in the past.. Just talk to her and work it out.. I know it sounds lame, but if u really aren't having an affair then the best thing is to talk to her n straighten things out :).
Michael_92 20
I agree with you, but at the same time don't you think that she should have a little more trust in the guy she MARRIED?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Not to mention the ability to recognize that her own birthday is coming up and that her husband may choose to buy her a gift.
GoW_Chick 15
Should of hid the recipe from S.S.S. Store better, tsk, tsk. (S.S.S./ secret sexy secretary)
CareFace 16
Recipe? Or receipt? :p I'm cooking up a big ol' batch of sexy!
GoW_Chick 15
It was suppose to be receipt but the letter stealing fairy that lives in my smartphone decided to cause mischief *sigh*
Blue_Black_fml 21
Should have*
UmBongos 3
I love your comments! (:
LolFMLnot 10
So you can't even go out and eat because apparently you're wife will accuse you of cheating? I am concerned about you OP , just show her the gift and be like thank you for ruining the surprise.
DanniMal87 3
it's called separate bank accounts.
Michael_92 20
Why should they have separate accounts? They are married therefore should be able to trust each other with all financial aspects.
Trisha_aus 15
No trust. No relationship.
kawaiichick 9
She has trust issues, equals to her being guilty as well. Hmmm
gracehi 33
Not necessarily, but it's certainly a possibility. My ex husband was very jealous, and once even got physical with me just because a friend told him he had a "hunch" that there was "something more" between me and a friend of ours. Then it turned out that he was the one cheating on me.
gracehi 33
I really don't see how that will make OP feel better. -.- But anyway, you should really nip that problem in the butt. My exhusband's numerous "real" affairs began with "cyber" affairs. Your wife's infidelity could quickly escalate to something tangible.
gracehi 33
OOPS! Sorry. I meant to post that as a reply to another comment. Please excuse the double posting that I will now commit.
SLC_grumpypants 5
Effin' chicks. Never appreciate anything
redmane 21
They never appreciate anything because you probably don't do anything for them. With that attitude, you'll never get or keep a girl. Good luck with your bad attitude.
Michael_92 20
I personally think it is really odd how quick she was accusing you of cheating....anyone else think something else is up?