Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, I found out my husband wasn’t really “working from home” in the evenings. He locks himself in his office until the late hours of the night, having intimate Skype sessions with his coworker. That explains why our joint bank account hasn’t seen a direct deposit this past month. FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Your wife must not trust you :/ Sorry OP
blcksocks 19
You work 24/7? When do you poop?
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Comments (100)
eyecon502 13
She watches Lifetime too much!
Sumo69 9
I don't know man you leave yourself quite an Ala bye
numbersystem 4
Her birthday gift should be a golf vacation for you and your friends. In Vegas.
DespairFaction 11
Makes perfect sense. 1.You took money out of your bank 2. You're a guy 3. You didn't get approval. Must be cheating.
jedielf 23
If he says he works so much that he doesn't even have enough time to see his friends, it might have at least crossed her mind momentarily. Then for some reason he takes more money out of their account than usual. I wouldn't have immediately accused him of cheating, though.
Trisha_aus 15
Noor is back to being a cute pussy cat and I'm back to laughing at her comments...life's good
bwtchinheels 0
Tell her she's a passive aggressive bitch face that doesn't trust you. **** her.
DespairFaction 11
I don't know if she will let him hit that after calling her a bitch face.
TinyGiant 4
Did she not clue in to the fact that it's her birthday soon? (Assuming it is) if not, YDI for Marrying a moron
gracehi 33
Your long working hours may be the very reason she's so suspicious. She likely thinks you're lying when you tell her you have to work late & that you're really spending time with a mistress. Try texting her throughout the day if you can. The extra attention may help settle her fears.
gracehi 33
Also, show her the receipt for her gift when you give it to her. Since it matches the amount taken out of your account, it should dispel her accusations about that. After all, it's not as if she doesn't already know how much it costs.
nightowl713 25
Good advice.
gracehi 33
Thanks. :) I try to be helpful when I can... And when I have nothing funny to say.
Complaining 13
Plain and simple: Just tell her when the time comes.