Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML
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Top comments
HortonThelephant 15
Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..
idealTHC 7
Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.
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Comments (156)
fuckmahteeth 4
wait what!? we dont have to!?
zephyre_fml 2
I first read "strip down". Didn't make that much sense that way though....
stewpididiot 11
Hey. Just cause you don't have to....
SuperDanielNL 23
When we in Europe go jogging we always put little bells on our ball and go running commando.
jcamps6 7
Going commando in gym shorts >
SuperDanielNL 23
When we in Europe go jogging we alwats go commando and put littke bells around our balls, so other people can hear us while we run.
slowlybreakingme 14
These comments... I'm DYING.
innominestanas 6
All right all right all riiiiiiight!
roosefer 6
That actually makes sense when u think about it :)
Mwslewis 3
Obviously we all do of course! Still, the comments here are really making me laugh keep 'em coming!
Old_Iron_Sides 6
That's the origin of the Prince Albert piercing. Supposedly Prince albert had trouble with his penis flopping around too much when he was riding his horse, and so pierced it with a ring so he could attach it to his leg.